1
Camberly House was filledto capacity with guests who’d come to attend the first ball of the Season, their boisterous chatter akin to the twittering of birds. The downstairs rooms had been opened up to facilitate movement between them and to let the air circulate. Only the library and the Duke of Camberly’s study had been closed off for the evening. Emily had found the doors securely locked when she’d checked, which was why she’d chosen to escape the stuffy ballroom and her overbearing mother by seeking refuge in the parlor.
It wasn’t ideal, but she could at least have a seat on the sofa and rest her feet for a moment. A wistful smile tugged at her lips. During the six years she’d spent tucked away in the countryside with her friends, Lady Cassandra Moore and Mary Clemens, who was now the Duchess of Camberly, she’d never believed she would ever return to Society. And certainly not like this, with no short supply of gentlemen eager to dance with her.
There was no question in her mind that her altered appearance was to blame for her newfound popularity, a superficiality that seemed more important than her age at this point. At six and twenty, she knew she was not the young debutante most gentlemen would consider when seeking a bride. Clearly, the only thing that held their interest was her transformation from a podgy girl whose mother had always insisted on an overabundance of frills and lace in bright shades of orange and yellow, to a woman with curves in just the right places.
“There you are,” Cassandra said as she entered the room and came to sit beside Emily. She’d brought Mary with her, and she claimed the armchair adjacent to the sofa.
“I just need a brief reprieve,” Emily said.
“You’re not the only one,” Mary told her as she flopped back most inelegantly against her chair. Emily knew Mary had never wanted to be a duchess, but when she’d fallen in love with Caleb Crawford, she’d had to accept the position in order to marry him. “Had I been able to avoid this circus I would have, but Caleb’s mother has been so eager to entertain, and well…she is a lovely woman and now that a year has passed since her husband and oldest son died, I could not deny her the pleasure of bringing Camberly House back to life.”
“You are a good daughter-in-law,” Emily said, “and you must not misunderstand me. I am glad to be here this evening, though I do wish my mother would stop chasing me around the room and inquiring about every man I happen to speak with.”
Cassandra smirked. “She probably sees a new opportunity to get you settled.”
“Which is understandable,” Mary said with a mischievous smile. “You’ve managed to take attention away from some very unhappy young ladies.”
Emily sighed. “I had forgotten how tiring her eagerness can be. She is once again pushing me toward a goal I have no hope of achieving.” She glanced at each of her friends. “These men might like what they see when they glance my way, but they will not court a spinster whose dowry has been redistributed to her sister.”
Mary frowned. “You always claimed you had no interest in courtship and yet—”
“So did you,” Cassandra murmured.
“Well, yes, but then I met Caleb and all of that changed.” Mary’s eyes took on the faraway look of complete contentment that filled her gaze when she thought of her husband.
“It is not so much the courtship I care about,” Emily confided. “It is the romance.”
“The romance?” both her friends asked in wonder.
Emily drew a deep breath. “I don’t even know what it’s like to be kissed by a man.”
Cassandra and Mary both stared at her for a long drawn-out moment. Then Cassandra said, “We should try to find a way in which to change that.”
The statement and what it suggested would have been shocking if it had been uttered by anyone else. But this was Cassandra, a woman who’d loved her fiancé so much she’d chosen to bed him before their wedding. But then he’d died on the way to the church in a terrible carriage accident, leaving Cassandra heartbroken, pregnant, and ruined. She’d left London almost immediately, assisted by her brother, Viscount Aldridge, who’d set her up in a large country house named Clearview. Mary and Emily had eventually joined her, and together they’d found a new purpose by offering orphaned children a home filled with love and happiness. “How?” Emily asked. “By luring some poor unsuspecting man into a dark corner?” She shook her head. “I’ve no desire to trap anyone.”
Mary’s lips twisted in thought. “Perhaps there’s a man out there,” she nodded in the direction of the ballroom, “who’s willing to oblige without having to be lured.”
“What if we start by considering the men you would like to share the experience with,” Cassandra suggested as if they were simply speaking of trying an ice for the very first time. “There must be someone to whom you are drawn?”
Emily pretended to consider, even though Cass was right. There was one particular gentleman who made her heart flutter – a man she dreamed of in those quiet moments before sleep claimed her. She just didn’t want to share the fact with anyone, for she feared that if she kissedhim, she might never recover once he left England. And hewouldleave. She’d heard him discussing the matter with his family and friends. Indeed, she recalled him saying quite clearly that nothing would keep him from returning to Vienna as soon as possible.
Determined to keep her secret close to her heart, Emily shook her head. “Even if there were, if someone caught me kissing a man to whom I am unattached, Laura’s chance of finding a husband would be even more ruined than it already is,” she said in reference to her youngest sister who’d made her debut the previous year. It pained Emily more than anything, knowing that her hasty choice to leave home in the wake of her broken attachment to Lord Langdon remained a blemish on Laura’s reputation. No respectable gentleman would consider marrying a woman whose sister was rumored to live in sin, no matter her sizeable dowry. The risk of scandal was simply too great. “If anything, it will only make things worse.”
“So then we will simply have to ensure that you’re not discovered,” Mary said.
Emily gaped at her friend. “Are we really having this conversation, or have I taken a hit to the head?”
Both women stared back at her, unblinking.
“This is a serious matter,” Cassandra eventually said. “It is important for us to discuss it and to take every option into consideration. Or would you rather go to your grave without ever knowing what it’s like to be kissed?”
“My intention to perish from this earth is far from imminent,” Emily grumbled. “I daresay I have a few decades in which to accomplish the feat.”
Mary looked at her as if she’d just said that she meant to go off and join the circus. “Better sooner rather than later,” she told Emily dryly. “The older you get, the more difficult it will be to find a man who’s willing to accommodate you.”
“She’s right,” Cassandra said gravely. “But I understand the concern you have for your sister’s wellbeing.”
