Her skill was not what he would have expected, considering this wasn’t her first kiss. It was innocently hesitant, which made him wonder what his brother had been thinking, even as he took pleasure in knowing that the two had not shared a wild passion-infused experience. It had not been like this, that was for sure, and the added information only made his heart beat faster.
Drawing her lower lip between his teeth, he nipped at the tender piece of flesh and delighted in the faint little moan of pleasure she made. She was just as desperate as he, following his lead and responding in kind until she drove him to distraction.
“Mary,” he murmured against her jaw before kissing his way down the column of her neck.
“Yes,” she murmured. She dug her fingertips into his scalp and arched against him, offering herself to his ministrations.
Tight with need, Caleb pressed his mouth to the curve of her shoulder. His breaths were coming hard and fast, his blood roaring through his veins in furious pursuit of more. Christ, she was beautiful, but she was also innocent and respectable and he could not – would not – take that from her.
Not until they were married.
He kissed his way down to the swell of her breasts and licked the edge of her décolletage. A devilish grin pulled at his lips when he heard her whisper his name. Marriage had been a vague idea lately, enhanced by his increased fondness for her. Now, after tasting her like this, it had become a necessary course of action from which he could not retreat.
She shifted closer, her body increasingly restless as she pushed against him with greater fervor. His mouth found hers once more, kissing her as if he were drowning and she were his lifeline, as if he’d just crossed the desert and she were the water that would quench his thirst. Her hands slid down his neck and across his shoulders as they moved to his front. And then they were delving beneath his jacket, her fingers working the buttons of his waistcoat.
Caleb caught her wrist and leaned back, undone in a heartbeat by her dazed expression and kiss-bruised lips. Her hair was partially down, with several loose tendrils falling softly against her cheeks. She looked so delicious and ready for more that he almost wanted to die, knowing he could not allow it.
“We mustn’t,” he told her even as his brain screamed for him to ignore his conscience and play the scoundrel.
“But…” Her voice was so bloody sensual, he feared he’d embarrass himself in the worst way possible. “I just want to touch you.”
Oh God!
Of all the things she could have said.
Taking a moment, Caleb closed his eyes and fought for some measure of deeply held control. “If you do,” he told her carefully, “there will be no stopping me, Mary. I will want more. A lot more. Do you understand?”
She was quiet for a while. “Yes,” she whispered. “I do.” Leaning forward she pressed her mouth to his once more and then whispered against his lips, “I want the same thing.”
He would deserve a medal one day for turning away such a wonderful offer. But he had to, for her sake, because he knew she did not know what she asked for. Not when the plainest kiss with his brother had managed to break her heart. If he were to bed her before she knew the truth about him, there was no telling what that would do to her.
“Not here,” he said, searching his brain for a way to dissuade her. “I will not be the man who takes your innocence on the parlor sofa in a fit of passion, Mary. You deserve better than that.”
She flinched and drew away slightly. Giving her attention to the floor, she quietly said, “This isn’t a decision I made lightly, but I am looking at a life devoid of passion. All I wanted was to experience every possible facet of it at least once. With you. So to say I deserve better is absolute rubbish, Caleb, for there will be nothing better for me.”
Her voice shook with emotion and to his dismay, she swiped at her cheeks with the palms of her hands. Damn him, if he hadn’t just hurt her anyway by trying to do the honorable thing. She stood before he was ready for her to do so, before he could think of the right thing to say. And then she was at the door, her hand poised on the handle.
“Thank you for the kisses. They’re the best I’ve ever known.”
“Mary.” He was on his feet and moving toward her, desperate to get her back in his arms. “It’s not that I don’t want you. Surely you must realize that. But my regard for you—”
A sob had her looking away from him. “I’m too proper for a casual bit of sport, aren’t I?”
“It’s more than casual. This is your innocence we’re talking about.”
She looked at him with watery eyes, and Caleb’s gut wrenched in response. “And I would happily give it to you,” she said fiercely, “if only to know what a night in your arms might be like.”
“Mary…” Words failed him.
“Good night,” she said as she pushed down on the handle and opened the door. “I trust you can let yourself out.”
And then she was gone, leaving Caleb with a sinking feeling deep in his chest. He glanced at the sofa where passion had reigned for a few glorious minutes. Raking his hand through his hair, he turned away from it and made his way out to the kitchen and back to his cottage. Tomorrow he’d give her the explanation she deserved and hope she’d still speak to him after.
11
How couldshe ever face Mr. Crawford again? The question pressed on Mary's mind when she woke the next morning and recalled what had happened between them. The way he'd kissed her had made her previous experience with Wrenwick seem unschooled and immature. Even now, her body thrummed with the memory of Mr. Crawford's touch. The way his mouth had moved across her skin, gentle yet somehow aggressive as well, had been intoxicating. He'd called to the wanton inside her, a creature she'd not even known existed, and she had answered by offering herself to him in the most elemental way possible.
Groaning, Mary flung one arm over her face. Because rather than accept, he'd told her she deserved better, which was just another way of saying he wasn't interested inthat, most likely because he didn't want the attachment such intimacy usually led to.
