Reaching the door to her room, he stopped to gather his thoughts. Ordinarily, he would have given a quick knock, entered and stated his business. He’d always been a direct man, had never really given much thought to what people might think of what he said. Getting to the point as quickly as possible was paramount in his line of work. Efficiency mattered. Yet now, standing here in his own bloody house, he worried over how to proceed. For one thing, he wanted to make Juliette happy—as difficult as that was for him to admit since he wasn’t accustomed to such concern—and for another, her opinion mattered. He did not want it to do so, but damn it all, it did. She was purity, untouched innocence and goodness to which he had no right. Yet he wanted her with a fierceness he’d never felt before.
Reprimanding himself for his ridiculous indecisiveness, he did what he should have done five minutes earlier and knocked. A welcoming answer granted him entry, so he drew a fortifying breath and went inside the bedchamber. She was sitting much as he’d left her, propped up in bed against a pile of cushions. Immediately, the physician in him began ascertaining the animated look in her eyes, the faint glow to her complexion and the pink shade of her lips.
“You look as though you are on the road to recovery.”And on your way out of my house.That thought did not sit well.
“I feel much improved, thanks to you.” She smiled and it was that wondrous smile that lit up the world. “Thank you for all you have done, for sacrificing your own comfort in order to take proper care of me.” Her smile faded a little and her eyes grew serious. “I regret the way I treated you earlier. It was rude of me and I am sorry for it. After all you have done—”
“You were upset and understandably so.” He approached the bed but paused and glanced toward the nearby chair he’d been spending a great deal of time in lately. Veering off course, he proceeded to pull it toward the bed so he could be close to her without actually sitting on the bed. Now that her health was improving, he did not dare allow quite so much nearness. “But the lice are gone and your hair will grow back,” he said as he took his seat and leaned forward slightly. “From this point onward, you ought to improve a bit more each day.”
“So then... I will be returning home soon?”
He nodded. “Yes.” It was unavoidable, and yet... “But there is no need to rush. In fact, I would like to be perfectly certain a remitting fever isn’t looming on the horizon before we risk exposing you to your family.”
“Of course.” A couple of lines creased her otherwise perfect forehead. “That sounds quite reasonable. Shall we give it another week?”
Her wish to stay so long surprised him, and he could not resist. His hand found hers, his thumb carefully caressing the smoothness of her skin. “Juliette... there are things I must tell you, explanations you deserve to hear.”
“If this is about my reputation, you need not worry. My brother and brother-in-law are both powerful men. They will see to it that Society understands the necessity of my staying here.”
He held her gaze and felt his heart ache. Her certainty in this, her belief in the goodness of others and that all would be right in the end was devastating. “I fear you may be wrong in that regard.”
She produced a chuckle and shook her head. “Considering all my family has been through, the disapproval we faced when we first arrived in Mayfair, I am confident my sojourn here will be overlooked. Especially if people are told how essential it was, not only to my health, but to everyone else’s as well.”
It was time to face his fears head-on. So he drew a deep breath and forged ahead. “And that might have been the case except for the fact that I am not the man you think me to be. As a consequence, staying here in my home, for even a single night, will have wrecked any chance you ever had of redeeming yourself in the eyes of theton.”
“What do you mean?” A hint of nervousness threaded its way around every word.
Florian withdrew his hand from hers and steeled himself for what was to come. “I am not Lord Armswell’s son.” Ignoring the instinct to gainsay this admission, he forged ahead. “Bartholomew is my real father, the sort of man one doesn’t cross without facing the consequences.” He paused. “He gave me an ultimatum and when I didn’t respond, he made sure my connection to him became publicly known. The newspapers have had a wonderful time writing about it for the last few days.”
Juliette stared at him as if he’d fallen off the back of a wagon and begun doing acrobatics.
“My reputation, not only as a peer but as a respected physician has been decimated by this while yours... the fact you have been living with the son of a known criminal, confined in his house for extensive periods of time, will not be easily forgiven. Least of all when taking your own past into consideration.”
Realization dawned in her eyes, more brown now than green. “Peoplewill think the worst in spite of our good intentions to save them from typhus.”
Florian nodded. “And they will say it and print it in every gossip column there is. Of that I am certain, considering the harm that has already been done. It is only a matter of time before they attach your name to mine.” Expelling a breath, he fell back against his chair and watched her process this information. “I am sorry, Juliette. Truly I am.”
She blinked as if startled out of a reverie by his apology. “Why?” Confusion knit her brow and she slowly shook her head. “You have done nothing wrong, Florian.”
“Of course I have, Juliette.” Why was she being so stubborn? “I took you into my home without chaperone and—”
“Because you were trying to save my life while keeping other people safe.”
Her placating tone was too forgiving for him to bear.
He frowned. “Not once in all the time I have known you did I inform you of the risk you faced by keeping my company. Not at Hawthorne House, Brand House or Stokes House, not in my office or at the opera.” She blushed, a deep shade of pink that had nothing to do with her recent illness. “I kissed you as if I had the right, as if I could promise you the future you deserve when all I can give you now is a tarnished name.”
“You forget that kissing takes more than one person and that I was equally involved.” Too embarrassed to look at him, she spoke to her lap. “I wanted that kiss, Florian. Indeed, I dreamed of it for a long time before it happened, so you have nothing for which to apologize. Truly.”
Her honesty slayed him, for although he’d seen desire and longing in her eyes and had known she wanted the same as he, hearing her say it roused a primitive beast within him. It made him want to grab her and hold her and kiss her again until she was breathless, until she forgot time and place and until the only word on her lips was his name.
But to do so could easily destroy her. Already, he feared it might be too late. “My fault was in letting you think I was the man you saw, the man the whole world knew me to be, when I was someone else entirely.”
Biting her lip, she shot a glance in his direction. “As if your parentage, over which you have no control, would have kept me away.” She raised her head so she could look at him more fully. Sparkles surfaced in her eyes, producing an ethereal effect. “You are still the same noble man, intent on saving others no matter the cost and often too serious for his own good.”
Her assessment of him was accurate, but her dismissal of all his concerns made him angry. “Our society is built on reputation and pedigree. Losing one of these might be survivable, especially for a man, but to lose both is unpardonable. My name has been slandered! Viola sent word today that Elmwood, Stokes and Winehurst have all left the hospital committee, which ought to impress upon you the gravity of this situation.”
Silence passed in the wake of his outburst until her gentle voice told him, “It is not that I fail to comprehend the gravity of what has occurred or of what this revelation about you means. I merely want you to understand that it does not affect my opinion of you in the slightest.”
