Jesus Christ and all his apostles!
Florian clenched his fist. “Sometimes,” he grit out, “sacrifices must be made for the greater good. And I never said I would do nothing to help. Indeed, I have every intention of tending to the sick, but I will be damned if I am letting any of St. Giles’s residents near St. Agatha’s or any other part of London for that matter.”
“What Florian and I would like to propose,” Viola said, taking over, “is setting up a clinic in St. Giles itself so people there can be evaluated and treated close to their homes. Any physician or nurse who agrees to help with this effort will do so voluntarily. But once again, it is our belief that risking the lives of a few is much better than risking those of many.”
Florian considered Lady Juliette discreetly while Viola continued speaking. Her expression was set in firm lines that suggested she was trying very hard to control her emotions. Which was, of course, the problem. When it came to life and death, he never allowed emotion to interfere with his judgment. She, on the other hand, was new to all of this and could only focus on what he’d said about shooting anyone trying to flee St. Giles. But it could become necessary, and if she’d lived through a typhus epidemic like he had, she would understand.
She must have sensed he was watching her, for she suddenly turned to meet his gaze. It was then that he realized her eyes weren’t an ordinary shade of brown as he’d initially thought, but hazel, the green flecks adding a fascinating degree of depth. Unable to stop himself, he dropped his gaze to her lips and immediately regretted doing so. For in spite of his increasing annoyance with her, that brief glance filled his mind with thoughts of kissing. It paved a path of desire so acute he was forced to look away, lest she be made aware of what he was feeling.
“On another point,” Viola was saying, “we need to discuss this list of expenses.” She proceeded to hand out pieces of paper to everyone. A discussion about the need for more staff and certain supplies ensued. “All of this will be costly. The clinic in particular will be a large expense, possibly exceeding Lady Juliette’s generous donation and...” She paused. “While bringing those who are infected to the hospital is not an option, we must try to get them out of St. Giles somehow. I hope I can count on all of you to think of a way in which to do so as cheaply and efficiently as possible.”
When Viola paused to glance around the room, Lady Juliette spoke up once more. “Perhaps a charity event with an auction would at least help bring in additional funds, which in turn could increase your options of relocating the typhus patients.”
Viola turned to her. “We haven’t had much success with such things in the past, but you’re welcome to give it another try if you think you can make it work.”
“I’ll set my mind to it right away,” Lady Juliette assured her.
The meeting was adjourned and the members pushed back their chairs.
“Your idea to set up a clinic in St. Giles is good,” Lady Juliette was saying while gathering her reticule and rising to her feet. “And you will obviously need more staff to run it, as Viola says. There is also no denying that there are other costs incurred by the hospital itself and covering these is of course a necessity. That said...” Her voice, though quiet, was sharp enough to cut glass. “I was hoping I’d have more say in how my money is spent.”
Florian rose as well.
“Of course.” The surprised look in her eyes was priceless and fleeting. Florian took a moment to appreciate the effect of his geniality before pressing on. “But what you possess in ways of kindness and a desire to help, you lack in experience. As evidenced by your rash contrariness with my effort to save as many people as possible from a deadly disease. All because—”
“My rash contrariness?”
She was leaning toward him, allowing her sweet fragrance to distract him from the outrage burning within her eyes. Hell, he rather expected her to jab at him with a pointed finger and for some peculiar reason he imagined he might enjoy such a heated display of anger on her part. It suggested passionate emotion, with him as the direct cause, which brought his mind straight back to his earlier thought of kissing.
Shoving the unwelcome notion aside, he stared her down. “You may have lived your life in the slums, my lady. Indeed, you have undoubtedly experienced your fair share of misery. But when it comes to saving lives, your naïveté is astounding.”
Shock was the first emotion to cross her face but then she composed herself, like a warrior princess preparing for battle. Her features tightened, and if Florian wasn’t mistaken, she even grew an inch in height. “I have admired you for your accomplishments and I have even enjoyed your company.” Her breaths came in short little bursts of agitation. “I see now that I was wrong to do so, however, for although you may be an excellent physician and an interesting conversationalist, you are nothing but a cad, completely devoid of compassion.”
His hand grabbed hold of her elbow before he could think of what he was doing.Christ!This woman was dangerous. She robbed him of common sense!
Ignoring that for the moment, he steered Lady Juliette a little further away from everyone else so he could give her a few choice words in private. Except he was not wearing gloves since he was at home, and the lady in question was dressed for the pleasant day that it was, her breezy muslin gown consisting of short cap sleeves that left most of her arms bare to his touch.
Her skin was smooth and wonderfully warm. He could feel the heat of her spilling through his palm and fingertips. The sharp inhalation she made, as he tightened his hold ever so slightly, forced him closer. His body nudging hers in an effort to raise her awareness of him just as she had raised his awareness of her.
“Compassion, as noble as it may be, has no place here.” He placed himself between her and the rest of the room. Reluctantly he released her arm, but not without noting the way her breath quivered the moment he did so, as if she regretted the loss of his touch. Elemental appreciation tightened his chest and he suddenly longed to encourage such sentiment in her once more.Later. Right now, words had to be said. “Compassion doesn’t save lives, my lady. Reasoning and solid medical experience do.”
She shook her head as though not comprehending. “How can you be so devoid of emotion? How can you be so cold?”
He winced, aware of the callous man he presented. “To let my heart guide me in this matter could be detrimental.” He softened his voice, willing her to see him for who he really was beneath the monster she saw. “That does not mean I do not have one or that I lack compassion. But for me to be the best physician I can be, I have no choice but to discount it in favor of making rational decisions.”
She stared up at him as if mesmerized, her mind clearly working to process his comment. And then she asked, “Have you always been like this?”
The question squeezed beneath his ribs, constricting his lungs. And yet, he struggled to overcome the panic her question evoked. Because it wasn’t an easy one for him to answer. At least not honestly. Even though he wanted to. For reasons he couldn’t explain, he wanted to open up to her, if only a little.
Perhaps because of her hopeful expression or maybe because he wanted her trust.
“It’s something I learned to do a long time ago,” he revealed. After his mother told him about Bartholomew, he’d hated her, Armswell and himself for a long time. Until he’d banished the feelings shredding his soul and applied analytical thinking. “Objectivity is easier that way and heartache less likely to occur.”
Her expression softened and she quietly whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For whatever it was that happened to you.” Glistening with pain, her eyes locked with his. “It must have been awful.”
