“That is not to say there is no room for improvement,” Lady Everly continued, “and since I would like nothing better than for both of you to make the sort of match that would make the most sought after debutantes green with envy, I recommend we strive for nothing less than excellence while we continue your lessons.”
“Oh... I...” Amelia glanced around at everyone’s expectant gazes. “Must we?” She already felt as though she’d been stretched and squeezed in an effort to fit a particular box that Society had designed for her. With Raphe and Gabriella away, she’d rather been looking forward to a reprieve and to focusing her time on a new venture—one she hoped would be a success, not just for her own satisfaction, but for the people of St. Giles, as well.
“Your brother specifically asked that we make your search for a husband a priority,” Coventry said. His dark eyes found hers, producing a flutter deep in her belly.
“Well, ye needn’t trouble yerselves on my account, since I’ve no desire to venture down that particular path.” Fidgeting with her gown, Amelia dropped her gaze to the carpet and wondered if she might be able to slide underneath it. Perhaps then those present would ignore the unflattering diction she’d used on account of the flustered state she was presently in.
“My dear,” the dowager duchess said with a sigh. It was the sort one might use with a very naive child, though Amelia felt it was kindly meant on account of the smile that accompanied it. “Might I inquire about your age?”
Hesitating, Amelia became acutely aware of a nearby clock ticking away the seconds. “Two and twenty,” she eventually said.
The dowager duchess tilted her head in a sympathetic gesture that filled Amelia with a sudden feeling of inadequacy. “There are many who will consider you unmarriageable by this time next year. Is that what you wish?”
Amelia stared back at the dowager duchess for a long moment while considering the life she would lead as a spinster. She couldn’t imagine not having a family of her own one day—of not having children. Especially since the thought of being alone terrified her.
Additionally, the idea of having to live off her brother forever disagreed with her immensely. She absolutely hated relying on others for help. In St. Giles, things had been different. Raphe had earned their keep while she had tended the house and ensured they had food to put in their hungry bellies. But now that his status had changed and he’d married, she had nothing to offer him in return except for additional expenses and worry.
“No,” she said. “Of course not.”
Lady Everly nodded with satisfaction. “Which is why I have taken the liberty of drawing up a list.”
“A list?” Juliette asked.
Without saying another word, the dowager countess went to collect a sheet of paper from a nearby side table. She offered it to the dowager duchess, who peered at it for an insufferable moment before narrowing her gaze on both Amelia and Juliette. “Indeed, I believe these gentlemen will do very nicely.”
“What gentlemen?” Coventry asked. He took the paper from his mother’s hand and scanned the text. His eyebrows rose. “This is quite an impressive collection of suitors.”
When Lady Everly nodded and the dowager duchess smiled with delight, Amelia knew her fate had been sealed with nine-inch nails. The next few weeks would obviously be a matchmaking expedition with her at the center of it. And in that moment, she missed Gabriella enormously, because whatever her sister-in-law had put her through in the name of improving her comport, it couldn’t possibly be worse than being presented to a long list of gentlemen while the only man who held her interest supported the effort.
Chapter 2
When the dowager duchess came to call the following day, she did so without Coventry, for which Amelia was extremely grateful. She’d spent the better part of the night convincing herself she’d said all the wrong things the previous day, and that accidentally spilling her tea in a nervous moment of despair had proven she lacked the sophistication required to even hope for a man as refined as Coventry to consider taking her as a wife.
So she’d scarcely slept, which had only added to her annoyance. Especially after taking a look at herself in the mirror. She’d washed her face with cold water, which had had a rejuvenating effect, though not enough for her to feel remotely attractive. Not that feeling so had been a typical occurrence lately. Not after overhearing the remarks made by a few young ladies at her brother’s ball.
It had been her debut, and she’d just danced with Coventry for the first and only time. It had promised to be such a magical evening, until she’d headed toward the ladies’ retiring room, which had taken her past a salon where the door had stood slightly ajar. Laughter had drifted toward her in such an enticing manner she had been tempted to enter the room and join in the fun. But the words that had followed had stayed her progress and stopped her from doing so.
“Can you believe those girls are actually going to try to snatch up a title?” a high-pitched voice had asked.
“It should be forbidden,” a gentler voice had said.
“On account of their background alone,” a third voice had added, “not to mention their ridiculous attempts at pretending they actually belong to our set. The gall of it!”
“I completely agree with you, Susanne,” the high-pitched voice had said. “It is obvious to anyone with eyes and ears that they lack any form of education.”
“Becaws thay speak loik this?”
The laughter that had followed had pushed Amelia’s heart into her belly, leaving plenty of room for a slow ache to fill up her chest. She’d spent a great deal of time since that evening wondering if she would ever belong to this world, if she and her sister would ever be good enough to demand respect.
Raphe could garner it with his power. He’d also had the good fortune to strike up a friendship with Coventry and marry Gabriella. Both had given him a foothold while Amelia often felt as though she was sliding away from an unpleasant past and straight toward an equally unpleasant future. Taking control had since become a necessity for her. She needed something she could command on her own without any interference from others—a project to lift her spirits and give her the sense of accomplishment that was otherwise denied her with every move she made.
“Will the duke not be joining us?” Lady Everly asked as the four women readied themselves to go out.
Placing her bonnet on her head, Amelia fiddled with the ribbon in an effort to make the sort of plump bow her sister had recently managed to master. Eyeing Juliette, she saw that hers was indeed perfectly tied at just the right angle. Exasperated by her own efforts, Amelia blew out a breath, undid the bow she’d just tied and made another attempt.
“My son had a busy schedule this morning,” the dowager duchess explained. Standing by the front door, she waited for her companions to ready themselves, her eyes catching Amelia’s before she added, “Being the responsible man that he is, he never misses a session in parliament.”
Her gaze lowered to somewhere in the vicinity of Amelia’s chin, which only caused Amelia to fumble even more with the silk ribbon she was trying to control. The dowager duchess came toward her, paused for a second and then raised her gloved hands to complete the bow Amelia had made a mess of once again.
