“I doubt that will happen,” he said. “You stood up to me without any trouble, proving you have an exemplary backbone. Considering your looks – and this is a compliment lest you think otherwise – they will probably be smitten the moment you walk in the door.”
Her blush turned her whole face a lovely shade of pink, and although he sensed she found it uncomfortable, he didn’t regret his comment one bit. On the contrary, he enjoyed how easily she responded to his flattery.
“This may surprise you, but I find your remark about my backbone more pleasing than the one about my looks. It pertains to my character, and that is something I can take some credit for, while the other was merely a lucky coincidence.”
Chuckling, he ate his mashed potatoes and chicken while pondering how rare this woman was that she simply refused to be admired for her beauty. Her explanation made perfect sense, although it wasn’t something he’d ever considered before she’d pointed it out.
With this in mind, he chose to focus more on her intellectual capabilities, but before he could do so, she asked, “Is it terribly grand, the Channing estate?”
“It is large, to be sure, and it is also quite ancient. But Lady Channing has given the building a comfortable touch, so I’m sure you will feel at home there.”
“Do you think she and I will get along?”
“Certainly.” He could tell by her careful phrasing and the softness with which she spoke that she was nervous. “You needn’t worry. She and her husband are good people – kind people – the sort who will do what they can to make you feel welcome.”
Expelling a breath, Miss Potter nodded. “Thank you for putting my mind at ease. It has been a great many years since I’ve last ventured into high society.”
That comment gave him pause. Why would a soon-to-be-governess – a member of the working class – ever have mingled with the peerage? Unless… “Are you gentry?”
She went completely still, her fork hovering between her plate and her mouth. Then she finished the action of eating, followed her bite of chicken with a swallow of wine, and afforded him with the most pointed look he’d ever received. “Does it matter?”
“I’d say so.” For one thing, it made her more untouchable if she were, and for another, “You should be seeking a husband, not going off to work.”
That hardened her expression. “My lord, I am four and twenty, so I dare say the time for finding a husband has passed. And as far as working is concerned, it is necessary, not shameful.”
“But—”
“My path has been determined. Finding fault with it will serve no purpose at this point, so please stop trying to do so.”
“I am merely attempting to understand you,” he said, but the dubious look on her face suggested she didn’t believe him. Which prompted him to say, “Even you must admit how unusual it is for a young lady of good breeding to take on such a position.” In fact, he believed it might be unheard of, but chose not to say so as this was clearly a prickly subject for her.
“Perhaps,” she conceded, “but one does what one must, my lord. Seeking employment as a governess in a respectable household is, in my opinion, better than the alternative.”
“Which would be?”
“None of your business.”
And on that note she clamped her mouth shut, bowed her head, and gave all her attention to her meal.
Alistair dropped his gaze to his own plate, then set his knife and fork aside. He’d pressed her until she’d put up a wall, and he’d lost his appetite. “You’re right,” he said, and he meant it. “You asked me twice already to leave the matter alone and I refused. Please forgive me for being so insensitive. My only intention was to try and understand you.”
Blowing out a deep breath, she looked up, her eyes – filled with tortured pain and regret – touched his heart in a way nothing else ever had. “Why?” Before he could answer, she said, “You and I have only just met, and while circumstance has forced us to share each other’s company on our way to Whitehaven, our acquaintance will come to an end upon our arrival there. My position demands it, since governesses do not socialize with their employers or their employers’ friends and family. Instead, they take their meals alone and keep to themselves whenever they’re not busy caring for the children.”
“I know.” He did not like it, but he was well aware that once their journey was over, he would only catch rare glimpses of Miss Potter during his stay. And then he would return home and not see her at all until his next visit. “So you see no point in getting to know each other better.”
“As diverting as I find our conversation since it does make the passage of time more bearable, the subject you wish to discuss is one that will force me to open up in ways I’ve no desire to do with someone who doesn’t care about me.”
“You make me sound like an unfeeling cad.”
She gave him a sharp look. “You know what I mean.”
Regrettably, he did. Her past was a painful one, and to speak of it would make her feel vulnerable. She did not want to take such a risk with him – a man she could not even call a friend yet – one of higher rank who might find reason to judge her.
Deciding in that moment to avoid any further prying, he turned their conversation back to something safer and asked her about her favorite authors. This led to an entertaining debate – one which made him regret the moment when she asked about the time and said she ought to retire. Knowing she had a point, however, since they would set out early the following morning, he escorted her out of the dining room and through to the stairs.
“After you,” he said, since the stairwell was much too narrow to let them walk side by side. So he followed her up, unable to ignore the gentle sway of her hips while she walked or the wild imaginings such a perusal provoked. All he had to do was reach out and she would be there. His fingers itched at the idea of doing precisely that – of allowing himself to feel the body she hid beneath layers of unflattering wool.
By the time they reached her room, his blood was pumping fast through his veins. She opened the door, allowing him a glimpse of her bed – the bed where she would soon be lying – and he felt himself tremble in response to this particular fantasy as lust took control of his body. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to push her inside, follow her through, and shut the door firmly behind them.
