Alistair stared at her in amazement. It had occurred to him that she might tell him her family had fallen on hard times, and she had no choice but to find work, but he hadn’t expected her situation to be quite so dire. It explained her reluctance to speak of it. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I cannot begin to imagine how difficult life must have been for you in recent years. All things considered, I’m surprised you’ve done as well as you have. It could have been worse.”
“I know.” She forced a smile. “Our mother’s insistence to educate us has been a blessing. Josephine managed to find work as an accountant, an unusual position for a woman, but one which thankfully brings in a decent wage.”
“But it isn’t enough.”
She shook her head. “Not if we’re to keep the townhouse and give Eve a proper Season. The expense will be enormous, but it will be her best chance of finding a husband and securing her future.”
He decided not to mention that doing so without the proper connections would be a challenge. A thought struck him. He might be able to help in some small way. But did he really want to involve himself in someone else’s troubles when he had plenty of his own? Looking into her watery eyes, he knew the answer immediately. “If you like, I’ll put in a word with Lady Channing. I’m sure she’d be happy to assist with Eve at one of the dances and introduce her to some of her friends. I’ll also dance with her myself, if you like. My attention toward her may encourage others to take notice.”
The smile that appeared upon her face was priceless. “You would do all of that?”
When he nodded, she flung herself forward and wound her arms around his neck in a tight embrace. The gesture was so shocking, so startling, it made him immobile. And before he could gather his wits, she’d withdrawn to her seat. “I’m so sorry. I can scarcely think what came over me. I’m so extraordinarily happy I could sing!”
Touched by her joyous response, he grinned right back at her. He did not think of what it had felt like to have her pressed up against him, if only for a moment. To do so right now would tarnish the mood. So he made a deliberate effort to push his desire for her aside and to focus on her moment of happiness and the pleasure it brought him, knowing he was the cause of it.
* * *
For the next three days, Louise took pleasure in Lord Alistair’s company. The weather grew increasingly cold the further north they travelled, and he began making sure she had hot bricks to warm her feet every morning when they set out. She told him about her childhood, and he told her about his. Conversation flowed freely between them, and she began to wonder if she might have made a mistake by opening up to him. Because the more they talked and got to know each other, the more she liked the man he was proving to be. Which meant she would miss him once this ride was over, and they would be separated by duty. So she tried not to think about that. There would be plenty of time to do so later in the loneliness that would shape the rest of her life.
But in the meantime…
“Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you hadn’t been born into the aristocracy?” she asked on Saturday morning after leaving the latest posting inn.
Glancing at the ceiling, he sat for a moment in silence before saying, “All the time.” Lowering his gaze, he smiled across at where she sat. “There are days when I wish my life was simpler.”
“Some might argue that there is nothing simple about having to work for a living – of having to worry about putting food on the table.”
“You’re right. Truth is, I can’t really imagine what it might be like to have to struggle in order to get by. But that doesn’t stop me from occasionally wondering if the harvest isn’t richer in another field, if there isn’t something to be said for being able to go where you please, live as you wish, without the pressure of continuing the lineage hanging over your head.”
“At least you are a man. You’ve been granted several years more than any woman in which to make the right match and settle down. And considering your position, it cannot possibly have come as a surprise to you that doing so would eventually be required.”
He pushed out a breath. “You’re right of course. The trouble is, I’ve been avoiding it.”
“And now, with your brother’s demands, you feel as though you’ve lost any possible say in the matter.”
Nodding, he crossed his arms and held her gaze. “How is it that you can so easily understand me when the people I’ve known my whole life fail to do so?”
Smiling, she asked, “Did you confide in them as you have done in me?”
He shook his head. “No. Mama and Langley are not the sort of people with whom one has an open conversation.”
“Perhaps that’s the problem. In order to know someone well, one has to share one’s thoughts and aspirations, one’s hopes and one’s fears.”
“And what are your hopes and fears, Miss Potter?”
The question was casually posed, yet Louise couldn’t help but sense its importance. To answer would tangle their lives up even more than they already were. It would deepen their bond and make parting all the more difficult in the end. So she considered changing the subject, then said, “Right now, I hope to make a good impression on Lady Channing and to be a successful governess so I can help my sisters. My fear is I’ll fail.”
“Why would you do that?”
She shrugged. “I have no experience with being a governess, so it is likely that Lady Channing will find me wanting, or that I won’t know how to enforce the discipline her children require, or that the other servants won’t like me. Any number of things can go wrong.”
“I don’t think worrying about it will help.”
“You’re right.” She drew a deep breath and expelled it. “But what of you, my lord? What are your hopes and fears?”
His expression tightened, and his eyes grew slightly darker. “My hope is to find a way to avoid doing as my brother demands. My fear is I will be married by Christmas to a woman with whom I have nothing in common.”
“Perhaps all you need is to get to know her better.” When he gave her a dubious look she said, “Look at the two of us. We were strangers five days ago and now here we are enjoying each other’s company remarkably well.”
