“When will I see you again?” she asked when they reached the top of the stairs. The door in front of them, once opened, would allow her to exit through a small closet located in an alcove behind a large tapestry.
“I do not know,” he said, unsure of how wise it would be for either one of them to continue down this path.
“It sounds as though you are brushing me off.”
“No. I... The truth of it is that I like you a great deal, my lady. I am just not sure that keeping each other’s company on a regular basis would be such a good idea. You need to find a husband, while I—”
“You know well enough that I do not wish to marry.”
He inclined his head. “So you have said. But what then? Do you really want to grow old alone? To abandon all hope of having children? Never to know what it might be like to...” He stopped himself, his breaths a little heavier with the realization that he’d almost alluded to something that no decent man would allude to in front of a lady. And yet, now that his thoughts had ventured in that particular direction, there was little he could do to stop the image of Lady Mary lying naked upon his bed from bursting through his mind.Christ!
“What it might be like to what?” she prompted.
Sucking in a breath, he turned away from her and opened the door. “You should go.” His voice was too stern, but there was nothing he could do to change that. Five years of celibacy followed by the close proximity of a virginal goddess whose innocence would have him undone within seconds. If he hadn’t already known that life was unfair, this proved it.
She stepped past him, but paused in the doorway. “When I asked you to meet me, it was because I needed to be certain.”
“Of what?”
“That I did not imagine the effect you seem to have on me.” She spoke as if in a daze. “There is something—some kind of pull that I cannot explain, except to say that I have never felt this way before.”
“You do not know what you are saying.” Hope, so small and fragile, began to spread against his better judgment. “It is the mystery that draws you.”
She stared back at him with a great degree of pensiveness. Eventually she nodded. “You are probably right. It cannot possibly be because I enjoy spending time with you, because I have found our conversations interesting or because you saved me from Rotridge. The fact that you have shown a genuine interest in me or that you seem to care about my well-being is probably inconsequential to my opinion of you.”
When she started to turn away, he caught her by the arm. “What do you want from me?”
Raising her chin, she gazed up at him with sparkling eyes. “To get to know you better, I suppose.”
“For what purpose?”
A look of uncertainty crossed her face. She glanced away, and he realized then how difficult it was for her to share her thoughts. Desperate to hear them, he kept quiet, allowing her the time she needed to take courage until she eventually said, “I do not have many friends, and while it is true that I have decided not to marry, I do believe that it may be possible for the right man to change my mind.”
He remained completely still, confounded by her courage. “So you wish to cultivate a friendship in the hope that it may blossom into something more?” he carefully asked.
“Yes.”
“And if it does not?”
“Then I shall have had the pleasure of sharing the company of a man whom I genuinely like and admire—one who also happens to share my fondness for music.”
Afraid he might pull her into his arms if he didn’t release her, he dropped his hand to his side. “You are unlike any woman I have ever met.”
She smiled faintly as she continued through the doorway, adding distance between them. “Thank you for meeting me tonight. I really appreciate it.”
“It was my pleasure.” She was gone before he spoke the last word.
Stepping back, Richard closed the door and leaned against the stone wall of the stairwell. He shouldn’t want her, but by God he did. It couldn’t be helped. Her scent—sweet roses in bloom—still filled the space where she’d stood only moments earlier.When will I see you again?Her words echoed through his mind. He was playing a dangerous game—one that would likely lead to a pair of broken hearts if he didn’t retreat now.
Muttering a curse, he swung toward a passageway leading off from the small landing and headed in the direction of his own room. Hours of darkness still spanned before him, and after that, an entire day before he might see her again—against his better judgment.
“How was your walk, my lady?” Amy asked the moment Mary entered her room. “Did you see him?” Rising from her chair in the corner, she came to help Mary with her cloak.
“You should not have waited up for me,” Mary said, feeling slightly guilty. “It is very late.”
“So it is, but I was too excited to hear about your meeting to get any rest.”
“There is not much for me to tell,” Mary said as she removed her slippers. “I still have no idea who he is.”
