“I can’t watch.” Cassian gave me his back for a moment, retching in his throat. He pressed a fist to his mouth, shoulders trembling.
Blood was dripping everywhere, warm rivers down my limbs, and Elia’s wolf had gone from small bite-and-release to more ferocious tugs. I’d lost count of how many times, twenty? More? The numbers blurred with the agony.
The pain made dizziness dance at the edges of my vision, or maybe it was the blood loss. The night sky spun, trees wavering like they were underwater.
‘Think of why you want to live,’Valkaryn told me.‘Hold your future in your mind. Find your anchor.’
‘Why?’I asked, my thoughts fraying.
‘Because it’s the best way to keep your spirit earthbound. I’m trying to keep you from meeting the Creator today.’
Her words shook me. I didn’t want to die. I wasn’t ready. I had too much to do.
I thought of my mother then, laughing on the front porch as Sable chased Finn around the yard. I thought of Kaelric, of kissing his lips and telling him I loved him. I thought of avenging his crown, of freeing his aunt and killing Harrow. Those images pulled like anchors, tying me to this world.
Elia whimpered then, and I realized I was on my back, bleeding out with shallow breathing as I looked up at the sky. Had I passed out? I didn’t remember falling over. The moon glowed above me, haloed in silver, blurred at the edges as if seen through water.
“Stop, stop, right now!” Cassian warned, with his hands out. Blue magic danced along his palms like flames desperate to leap.
‘She has to keep going, or you’ll die. You need enough venom to change,’Val told me, her voice sharp but trembling beneath.
“Keep…” I sucked in a wheezing breath. “…going.” It scraped my throat, barely audible.
Elia’s wolf looked at Cassian, and I peered up at him as well. He was openly crying, tears streaking down his cheeks, and I knew then that he loved me. I loved him too. Not in the same way, but as a beloved friend, a brother. And now I might have just forced him to watch me die.
‘Hold on, my little human,’Kaelric announced.‘I’m coming.’
The howl that rose up was closer and more tortured, almost broken.
I glanced at Elia, feeling rivulets of blood flowing out of my arms, legs, and back, pooling beneath me, warm and sticky. The earth felt like it was trying to drink me.
“Keep—”was all I managed, but she rushed forward and bit my neck, then again biting my shoulder. My vision rattled, cracking apart. I had screamed myself hoarse, the pain agonizing beyond anything I’d known. The trees above me began to swim, branches bending like they were reaching down for me.
“Surely that’s enough now. She’s going to die,” Cassian sobbed, voice cracking under the weight of panic. Blue bands of magic flung from his hands like ropes and wound around Elia, yanking her away from me. The magic hissed through the air, bright against the darkness. The force of it sent leaves skittering across the forest floor.
Cassian fell onto his knees before me.
Elia tucked her tail and whimpered, backing up even farther as the magic bindings fell away. Her chest heaved, paws twitching nervously over the pine needles, torn between instinct and loyalty.
I reached up to touch Cassian’s face, but my arm fell back and crashed onto the ground with a dull thud. My muscles no longer listened to me. I was too weak.
His tears flowed freely down his cheeks and fell onto my chest, warm against my skin that felt frighteningly cold. His breath came in short tremors, the scent of magic still clinging tohim. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him how much it meant to me to always have him rooting for me. To tell him I was sorry I couldn’t like him the way he liked me. But when I opened my mouth to speak, nothing came out, only a gasp of air that barely stirred.
Then I felt him.
Kaelric’s presence was like the morning sun cresting a horizon, a soft warmth that cut through the shadows. I felt alert for a split second as he loomed behind Cassian, his aura wrapping around me like a protective cloak.
There were a thousand emotions dancing across his face, all fighting for space.
Rage. Horror. Adoration. Anguish. Rebellion. Shock. Denial. Acceptance.
Each flickered through his features like a storm rolling behind his eyes, threatening to break.
He gently moved Cassian to the side and kneeled before me. The world steadied beneath his touch. I felt his arms hook under my knees and neck, and then I was being lifted to his chest. The warmth of him bled into my skin, but my limbs hung limp, my head lolling toward his shoulder.
Standing, Kaelric stared at the sky as a storm raged in his eyes. The night seemed to bend toward him, the wind whispering through the trees.
“If you take her, you might as well take me, too,” he told the sky.
