I’d ask him what that was all about, but I already knew. He couldn’t calm down until he knew for himself that I was unharmed. I tried not to let it affect me, but it did. Despite the ways that Stryker tried to push me away from him, tried to push me out of his heart, this was evidence of how important I was to him.
A week ago it would have made my own heart soar, but a lot had changed since then. Now it just felt like he was poking at an unhealed wound, making it bleed all over again.
Without saying anything, I turned from him and started walking in the direction he’d indicated the exit was. Right now I wanted nothing more than to get out of this mountain, to retrieve the Shadow Heart, and then go somewhere and try to heal my own.
Chapter 19
We climbed out of the mountain and all the way back down to the inn in silence. Once there, I went right to my room and told Stryker I would meet him in the dining hall below in the morning. I wanted a bath and a good night’s sleep.
The next morning we ate a quick breakfast, again in relative silence, only asking small questions when needed, and then rode on horseback to the very eastern ends of his lands where the boat docks and seashore was. My arms were covered in bruises from my fall that Stryker kept looking at but he said nothing.
When we got to the boat docks, Stryker seemed to know the men there and rented us a boat with a small cabin that had a single bed. I hoped we wouldn’t be on the water long enough to use it because I’d rather sleep in the water and drown than next to him.
After we’d been out on the water for about an hour, Stryker turned to me, regret heavy in his gaze. “I’m sorry I left you like that.” It was as if he was reading my mind.
My eyes filled with tears but I blinked them back, forcing a strong face. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I snapped, facing the beautiful ocean and allowing the wind to bite at my skin as I tried to calm my frantic heart.
“Aribella, I—”
“Idon’twant to talk about it!” I shouted, and his nostrils flared but he remained quiet.
What good would speaking about the past do? What would telling him that he’d been the first man in my entire life to kiss me like that accomplish? Telling him that I fantasized about kissing him again daily or that I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
“You know what! Let’s talk about it.” I spun around and stormed across the wooden deck until I was right in his face. He gripped the wheel and met my gaze. “I’m nother, Stryker. I’m sorry that you’ve been hurt in the past but we all have our baggage. I grew up my whole life hiding a weak heart from an entire kingdom! You’re just a coward!” I spat, hating that my cheeks were wet with tears. “And worst of all, you knew I was your mate.”
His mouth popped open in shock, like I’d struck him, and I shook my head, giving him my back and walking away.
I had intended to step down into the little cabin beneath the boat when a wall of shadows rose up before me, barring my way. I turned, and Stryker was right behind me, chest heaving and eyes glittering with a mixture of rage and passion. My gaze flicked to the wheel to see that a rope of shadows was steering the boat and then I peered into his eyes.
“What, Stryker? Say your piece and let’s just move on from this.” I crossed my arms defensively.
“I’m falling in love with you and it frightens the life out of me.”His voice was so broken and vulnerable that my walls began to crumble. His words knocked the breath out of me.
I dropped my arms and he stepped closer.
“I know you’re not her,” he said. He reached for my fingers and then brought them to the scar at his cheek. “But no matter how hard I try to forget the nightmare that she engraved on my face and my heart, sometimes it’s hard.”
I stroked the knotted skin, tracing my fingers along the scar and tried to imagine what it would be like to have someone I loved try to kill me in my sleep.
“I was already halfway to Noreum to look for you, to win you back, when Zander contacted me. Can you forgive me? Can you give me another chance to treat you how you deserve to be treated?” His voice was husky and it made my entire body melt. “I’m sorry, Aribella, I made a mistake. I see that now.”
I’d tried to resist him, but I felt that resistance crumble and I couldn’t find it within myself to be sorry about that.
I whimpered, leaning closer to press my lips against his. His arms came around me and my mouth opened to deepen the kiss.
Was I so rigid and unforgiving that I couldn’t allow him a second chance after that heartfelt confession? No, I was not. We all made mistakes and it was how we moved forward that mattered.
Even though it had only been a few days, it felt like it had been years since I’d tasted him, and I found I couldn’t get enough. I pressed closer, falling into him and cherished the feel of his mouth against mine, of the hard lines of his body up against my softness. I had to grasp onto him to keep standing because the longer we kissed, the weaker I became.
My feet might have been on the boat deck, but my head was in the clouds high above.
Nothing felt this good. Nothing felt this right. I could have stayed like this in his arms forever, and when we finally stopped kissing, it didn’t feel nearly long enough.
I was tempted to pull Stryker back down to me again when I saw the same silver sparkles hovering in the air around us, exactly as they had the first and only other time we kissed. The proof of our mate bond as I understood it from Dawn. And just like before, they stayed suspended in the air for a few moments before disappearing.
I looked up at Stryker and smiled. He peered down at me with relief, his lips slightly swollen from our kiss, and I had to stop myself from going back for more.
“I feared I’d have to go forever without ever kissing you again,” he confessed.
