My heart hammered in my chest, quivering against my breastbone.
Weakness pulled at my limbs as my legs shook and I dropped to the ground in a heap, completely depleted. Master Tor’s sword clattered to the floor next to me and I breathed a sigh of relief, yet I didn’t have enough energy to look and see where he was.
All around me wails of misery rose into the air, and I realized with growing horror what I’d done. I’d pushed a feeling of debilitating despair into all the fae in the room.
Yes, it had stopped Master Tor’s attack, but if I didn’t pull back my magic, the fae around me might fall into despondency and hurt themselves.
I tried to push myself to a sitting position, but it was useless. My arms felt so weak they shook with the effort.
My heart pounded like a war drum as sweat dripped down my brow. My muscles were as weak as a newborn’s, and my vision blinked in and out as flashes of blackness began to take over.
Lying on the ground I gathered what little reserves I had and slowly pulled my power back into myself.
I wasn’t going to be able to hold onto consciousness for much longer, that much was a certainty. My heart was frantically quivering in my chest. But just before everything went black, I sucked the last drop of despair from the fae I’d unknowingly attacked. Then I was taken into darkness.
* * *
When I opened my eyes my mother stood over me, wringing her hands. I wasn’t in the training gym anymore, instead I was lying in my own bed with no memory of how I got there. The concerned look in my mother’s eyes told me everything I needed to know.
I’d had another episode. And it was bad.
Twice within one week. I wasn’t getting better, like I thought. If anything I was getting worse.
“How long have I been out?” I asked, which was usually the first question out of my mouth whenever I came around after a fainting spell.
A pleat appeared between my mother’s brows. “Eighteen hours. Falana took care of you and when she saw you stirring she called for me.”
I sat up so quickly I got a little dizzy again, but I ignored it.
“Eighteen hours?” I gasped. I’d never been out for so long before.
Throwing off my bedsheets, I slid out of bed. I’d been changed into nightclothes while I was unconscious. I might have been embarrassed by that, but it wouldn’t have been the first time my maids had had to do the task.
Going to my armoire I threw it open and started searching for clothes. I’d been training with Master Tor and Queen Liliana in the late afternoon, so if eighteen hours had passed since then it was already well into the next day. I only had days before the portal would open and I was to leave for Ethereum. I couldn’t afford to lose any more training time than I already had.
“Dear, what are you doing?” my mother asked as she watched me flit around the room, looking for shoes to go with the pants I already had clenched in my arms. “You should get back in bed. You need all the rest you can get.”
“Rest?” I let out a humorless laugh. “There’s no time for rest, I have to get back to Queen—”
“She left,” my mother said, cutting me off.
I froze, turning my head to look at her. My mother was chewing her bottom lip. That was never a good sign. She thought it was a horrible habit unbecoming of royalty and only did it when she was exceptionally anxious.
“Left? Left where?” I asked.
She sighed and pity filled her gaze. “When she saw what happened, your father and I were forced to explain your condition.”
No. Not that.
“Mother, you didn’t.”
Whenever someone found out about my weak heart, I was always treated differently after. We’d managed to keep my ailment secret most of my life. Only my parents, the royal physician and a few trusted members of our staff knew. We never wanted our people to think that they would someday be led by an invalid.
Up until now my people didn’t need a warrior, they needed a leader. I was strong in mind and spirit, just not so much in body. That’s really what counted, that I would be a good leader like my father. But I knew with nauseating clarity that Queen Liliana wouldn’t see it that way, which was why I wasn’t surprised by my mother’s next words.
“She’s left along with the tutors and trainers. They’ve gone to the Winter Court to prepare the next princess.”
Even though I wasn’t shocked, the words were still a knife to my chest.
