Letting out a shaky breath, I slipped my finger under the lip of the envelope and ripped it open before pulling out and unfolding the letter.
To my second love (My first love is obviously bacon.)
I burst into laughter, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes. This was so Tate, to start off a death letter talking about bacon and making jokes. Man, I missed her so much the pressure in my chest was almost too much to bear. It felt like I might actually be having a heart attack.
I looked back down at the paper, blinking away fat tears.
Skye hasn’t been wrong yet in one of her predictions and she’s told me that I am going to die during the battle with Apollyon.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, needing a moment to come to grips with the fact that all yesterday she knew. She knew and didn’t tell any of us. I only allowed myself a few seconds before opening my eyes and starting back in on the note.
There are things I need you to know, Gage. Things that hurt to write because I don’t want to say goodbye, but I want you to know that I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. You were it for me, the guy, the one, my ride or die.
I shouted in frustration and nearly crumpled the letter as my heart tore in two.
I was never a big believer in destiny or fate until I met you. No matter how many times we tried to push each other away, fate brought us back together. My only regret in life will be not having enough memories with you. I want you to know that you have a lot to offer another woman.
Shock ripped through me and I dropped the letter on the floor, grabbing my face. She was going to tell me to move on. This made it real, this made it seem like she was really dead.
No.
Sobs racked my body as the reality, the absolute unfairness of what was happening, fully settled in my chest like a block of ice. I was going to have to livedecadeson Earth without this woman while she waited for me in Avalon, and I couldn’t think of anything more tragic. No matter what she said, I wouldn’t move on. I couldn’t. Feeling angry and slighted by fate, I picked up the letter and kept reading.
You are a catch: Kind (most days), loyal, and protective to a fault. Any woman would be lucky to have you, and although it guts me to imagine you with someone else I want you to have every happiness life has to offer, so you have my blessing to move on when you’re ready. I’ll just be up in Avalon watching Skye’s train wreck of a love life and waiting for you to one day join me.
Forgive me for not telling you. I couldn’t bear to see your pain.
I love you,
Tate
I wasn’t ready for it to end, so I read her words to me three more times, each time finding more and more to laugh or cry or be mad about. I don’t know how long I stayed in that room. Hours maybe. I hadn’t slept since Tate died, and so for a while exhaustion claimed me and I drifted in and out of sleep on the gym mats only to wake with my heart pounding as the realization hit me that she was gone and this wasn’t a dream. I did this five or six times before the door opened and I bolted upright.
Dash peeked his head in. “Harley’s talking again. She read her letter and she’s asking for you.”
I grabbed my folded letter and shoved it into my pocket, standing and crossing the space to get to Dash. Tate loved her sister even though they barely knew each other. She would have wanted me to look out for her. I quickly walked down the hallway and paused at the door to our room.
“I’ll wait out here,” Dash said, and I nodded.
When I stepped back into our dorm room, Harley was standing with her letter in her hands and mascara streaking her cheeks. She swallowed hard and looked up at me.
“How are you doing? Are you okay?” I didn’t want to spook her into going mute again, but I needed to make sure she wasn’t going to hurt herself or anything. I think losing Tate and her powers all at once had broken her. I knew what it felt like to have your powers stripped and left without any, so I had a lot of compassion for Harley. But she was strong, so if she could get past the initial shock, I believed she would be all right.
Harley stepped closer to me. “Tatum wanted me to give you something,” she said, and I froze. I wasn’t prepared for that. Was it a present or something? Or maybe—?
Harley crashed into me, wrapping her arms around me, and then broke into sobs. I squeezed her tightly as it hit me.
This was what Tate wanted Harley to give me.
A hug.
And I wondered if it was for my benefit or Harley’s. That was Tate, always thinking of everyone and what they would need. Harley and I held each other tightly for a few minutes until she finally pulled away and wiped at her eyes.
“You didn’t see me cry and we never hugged,” she snapped.
“Got it.” I told her, suppressing the first genuine smile that threatened my lips since the moment we went to battle.
Turning from me, Harley sat on the edge of Dash’s bed and ran her fingers through her dark hair. “Damn her, if she knew she was going to die she could have told me. I could have been the one to kill Apollyon.”
