“Exactly,” he said, and lowered his head, nuzzling his face into my hair. I felt him inhale and was suspicious he was doing exactly what I was, committing everything about this moment to memory in case… in case it was our last.
No. No this isn’t our end. It can’t be. This thing between us is too big to be over before it’s hardly even started.
There was no way I was letting him go. My feelings for him were big, overwhelming, and all-consuming in the most delicious yet scary way. I never even knew it was possible to feel this way about another person, but now that I did I’d fight tooth and nail to keep him in my life—to reach for the happily-ever-after that not everyone gets.
Maybe it was the fear of what was to come that was shoving these emotions forward, but even so I knew that they were real and true. Our dire circumstances were just the catalyst, the knife that cut through the layers of self-protection I’d wrapped around my heart, to reveal its hidden truth that my feelings for Gage ran so much deeper. I’d fallen hard and fast, and I knew with complete certainty that Gage was it for me.
“Gage.”
There must have been something off in my voice, because he pulled back so he could look me in the eye. Lifting his hand, he traced the shell of my ear and then ran his fingers over my jaw, making me shiver.
I swallowed. The words were on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to tell him exactly how I felt about him. He deserved to know.
“I’m going with you to the Netherworld,” I said instead, surprising even myself.
Gage reared back, dropping his arms and taking a full step away from me. His face filled with horror as he shook his head. “No, absolutely not.”
I moved toward him, reaching out, desperate to recapture what we’d had just a moment before, but Gage dodged me.
“Don’t you see? If I come with you to the Netherworld I can help you fight against the other hellhounds. We’re better together, I know it.”
Gage slashed a hand through the air, his horror giving way to anger. “No way. Have you forgotten that I lose myself when I shift? Forget the fact that going up against one of the Netherworld hellhounds is practically suicide, but more likely than notI’dattack you the minute we got there. Do you have any idea what that would do to me? For me to hurt you? To maybe even kill you?”
“I won’t let that happen. I promise. I’ll just—”
“If you don’t swear right now that you’ll never follow me into the Netherworld, so help me, Tate, I’ll leave you. I’ll run so far away you’ll never find me, and I’ll never come back.”
I gasped. He couldn’t mean that. He’d already run away once, but he’d promised he wouldn’t do that again.
“You wouldn’t,” I said, unshed tears making my vision blurry.
His nostrils flared and a streak of fur shot up both arms before retracting again. “For you. To keep you safe, I would, in a heartbeat.”
This time I was the one to take a step back. Logically, I knew he was trying to protect me, but the threat to leave ripped open wounds that had only just begun to scab over.
“Promise me, Tatum. Or I’ll leave right now.”
Tatum, not Tate. That hurt the most.
I swallowed. I hated the Netherworld with every fiber of my being, but I still wanted to go with him. I wanted the chance to protect him, to fight by his side, and that he wouldn’t let me was a hard pill to swallow. He was making a choice to put my protection, my life, in front of his, and as much as I hated that, I had to respect his decision.
I nodded, feeling a single tear carve a path down my cheek. “I won’t go with you, I promise.”
Stark relief washed over Gage’s face. He unclenched his fists and the stiffness in his spine disappeared. He let out an audible sigh. “Thank you.”
Turning away, I wiped at the tears that wet my face, trying to clear the evidence and get control of my emotions. Gage came up behind me and ever so gently wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me back against his chest as he buried his face in my neck.
“Please understand I can’t bear the thought of you in that type of danger.” His body shuddered with emotion.
“I do understand,” I said. “Because I feel the same way.”
I don’t know how long we stood like that, but I knew it was a while because we didn’t break away until Drea, and the others—including Skye—showed up, and by then the full darkness of night had fallen. They stayed a good twenty feet away to give us privacy but were there for moral support.
Stepping away from me, Gage closed his eyes and cracked his neck. The bones on his face looked like they were becoming more pronounced, but then he shook his head and they went back to normal.
“I think it’s going to happen soon,” he said. “I feel it.”
I whimpered and had to forcefully stop myself from begging him once again to let me come with him.
