I swallowed hard, guilt worming its way into my chest, but again I pulled up the image of the redheaded girl and pushed the guilt down.
Rape.
Murder.
Lies.
Ignoring Luka, I fell asleep.
The next day was rough. I felt as sick as a dog from the thirst symptoms Luka must be having. Headache, chapped lips, dry mouth no matter how much water I drank, and uncontrollable anger.
‘Aspen, are you hurt?’Luka checked in with me for the fifth time that day, and I was having a hard time ignoring him.‘Where are you?’Maybe it was the thirst, maybe it was the anger about the way he lied, but my resolve was thinning.
“Don’t talk to him,” Liv snapped at me as she brought me more ice chips from the freezer.
“I’m not!” I growled.
“He is a rapist and a murderer. A demon like all the rest,” Liv told me, and I nodded.
“I know,” I whimpered, a single tear falling down my cheek.
Did I know? I’d seen the photo, but why was my gut telling me something else?
If God made you, he made me too.
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the thoughts from my brain.
No.
Over the next five hours, Liv blasted music, fed me soup, played cards and even charades, all while I was curled into a ball on the couch, ignoring Luka’s pleas and dying from the worst headache I’d ever had in my life.
‘Aspen!’Luka’s voice was so desperate I couldn’t take it anymore.‘Tell me where you are and I’ll save you. I’ll come for you.’
He’ll save me?
‘I don’t need to be saved. I need you dead,’I seethed with hatred, finally addressing him.‘You lying, murdering rapist!’I hurled at him as the rage of the thirst finally consumed what pleasantries were left in my body.
I felt Luka recoil as if I’d stung him.
‘They got you. They fully got you,’was all he said, and then he went silent.
They fully got you?What the hell was that supposed to mean?
My mind chewed on that for hours.
They fully got you.
If God made you, he made me too.
I’ll come for you.
My thoughts were a delirious jumble.
Finally, at midnight on the second day, when Liv was brushing a cool cloth across my forehead, I broke into sobs.
“Make it stop, Livvie. Please.”
I looked up at my best friend to see tears line her eyes. “I wish I could.”
