“Just go! I’ll let you run,” I said.
Because I’ve gone insane and Luka had infected my mind with crazy ideas.
His eyes flared with so much hatred then, I knew I was going to have to kill him to get out of this. Hehatedme and he wouldn’t back down, I could see that. I mean, to his credit I had just stabbed him in the face.
I stepped backward five paces. “Just let me go,” I told him, trying to find a way we could both survive this. He was a teenager, maybe even forced to be a vampire. I could no longer in good conscience mindlessly kill the bloodsuckers.
He peeled his lips back from his teeth, which were full of blood from my stab wound, and hissed. He lurched forward and I froze, readying myself for the attack.
I can’t do it. I can’t stab this kid in the heart…
A shadow passed to my left, and then Liv leapt between us, coming across the kid’s neck with her sword in one clean arc, removing his head completely.
A strangled cry left my lips as his head hit the ground with a thump.
Liv spun, wide-eyed. “What the hell, Aspen? You froze!”
My hands shook, I couldn’t breathe; the world was getting smaller, the weight of it crushing in on me.
“I … I … can’t.” I dropped my stake and turned, taking off into the night as trees blurred around me. I crossed the farm at record speed, speeds that I shouldn’t be capable of even with my DNA upgrade. I didn’t want to know why I was running so fast or what was happening to me. I was vaguely aware of Luka’s consciousness right there with me. He felt so close. Liv screamed my name but I barely heard it. I was gone, running into the night with nowhere to go, lost in the darkness of my own moral guilt.
I was a hunter of evil … but how many innocents had I murdered in my blind quest to expunge the demons? Or people who I’d thought were demons?
I ran until my legs felt like they would fall off. My lungs burned as I sucked in gulps of air. Skidding to a stop in the middle of some field, I leaned on my knees and breathed deeply. I was there for ten minutes, trying to calm down my heart and steady my breathing, when I heard the rustle of leaves.
“Are you trying to kill me, woman!?” Liv appeared out of the fields, panting and red faced. Her body was covered in vampire blood. Her sword hung at her side, snug in its scabbard.
“I can’t do this anymore, Liv.” I raked my hands through my hair. “I think … I think some of the people we’re killing are innocent.”
Liv looked like I’d shot her. She reeled back, eyes wide. “Innocent! You’ve heard the reports from Chief Baker. Rapes, murders, you’ve seen them drain humans!”
I nodded. “Once. I’ve killed over seventy vampires and I’ve seen them kill someone one time.”
Liv rolled her eyes. “What are you getting at, Aspen?”
I shrugged. “Have you ever met Chief Baker?”
Liv froze, going very still. “Aspen, you’re asking dangerous questions.”
“And you’re taking blind orders!” I shouted at my bestie, and immediately regretted it when she winced.
“I’m sorry. I’m just … losing it.” A sob ripped from my throat. “I’m totally losing my mind.”
Liv’s face morphed into an angry scowl. “This is what happens when you play with the devil, Aspen. You’re feeding a vampire. You’re keeping him alive. And it’s changing you.”
I chewed on my lip. “Did you ever think about how vampires were all human like us once? That some of them might not have wanted to become what they are? That they’re just feeding on humans because it’s the only way to stay alive?”
Liv’s mouth opened in shock. “Aspen! Who are you?”
Her words slashed into the very core of my being, causing an ache to spread throughout my chest. “I don’t know anymore,” I told my best friend honestly.
Liv nodded, stepping closer and opening her arms to pull me into a hug. “We’ll get through this together. It’s a rough patch and we’re going to get through it together, okay?”
I squeezed her so tightly then that I knew it must have hurt, but she didn’t say anything. I needed her. She was my life raft, the only thing I could trust to keep me afloat right now when I didn’t even trust my own thoughts.
Chapter Twelve
The next morningI awoke to find Liv already gone for the day. I decided to go for a workout and forget all the nonsense from last night. Sterling and the others had seen me run off after chickening out about killing the young vampire kid, and we’d had to call for them to pick us up, so there was no getting around what I’d done.
