No.
This was wrong, this was against everything I believed in.
“I’ll see you back in Spokane in two days,” I retorted, and then spun on my heels, booking it out of his hotel room like a bat out of hell.
Something fundamental was happening inside of me, a fissure to my very own soul. The beliefs, the bedrock that I’d built my entire life upon, were shaking, and I didn’t know how to stop it before they cracked right in half.
Either Luka was evil or he wasn’t, and if he wasn’t, then my whole life was a lie.
I made up my mind then. Luka was sent from the devil to tempt me, and when we got back to Spokane, I’d ask Maz for time off. Liv and I would go on vacation for a week and I’d let Luka starve to death. I didn’t have it in me to kill him firsthand, but I couldn’t do this anymore. It compromised every belief I had.
But one thought looped on repeat while I ran back to the Hunters’ Gala:If God made you, he made me too.
That couldn’t be true … right?
Chapter Eight
The secondI got back to the hotel, I slipped through the busy entryway and ran upstairs to make sure my neck bite was covered. Two puckered scabs stared back at me as shame burned in my cheeks. That was … like a kiss … like how I imagined kissing Luka would feel like. Not that I imagined that. Ever.
I put makeup over my marks, then a small piece of Band-Aid tape I’d cut off. Then I wore a black velvet choker and finally I laid my red curls over that. Overkill? Maybe, but in a room with over two hundred hunters, I wasn’t taking any chances.
There was a knock at the door and I pulled in a deep breath. Walking over to the door, I opened it, preparing to see Maz.
The sight of Sterling standing there handsomely, wearing a charcoal-gray suit, with his light blond hair slicked back, made my heart leap into my throat. His eyes roamed over my dress and a sudden idea possessed me.
“Aspen.” His voice was husky as he tipped his head to me. “Maz is already downstairs. I thought I would accompany you.”
Without giving it much thought, I stepped forward and crashed into him, wrapping my hands around the back of his neck and pulling his lips to mine. His body went rigid with shock beneath me for the slightest second until he sprang into action. He reached out and wrapped his hands around my back as he pressed me harder to him and I opened my mouth to deepen the kiss. When our tongues collided, he let out a moan.
My thoughts were so frantic, I was so hellbent on trying to prove to myself that I had zero sexual feelings for Luka, that I couldn’t even focus on this kiss with Sterling. It was mechanical, fake, notrealin a sense. I’d kissed Sterling hundreds of times, but this felt different, this was … a mistake.
I pulled back, my fingers going to my lips in shock. I couldn’t believe I just did that, that I’d pulled Sterling into this just to deal with my own issues.
“I’m so sorry … your girlfriend…” I felt so stupid.
Sterling stepped closer. “Ex-girlfriend. I’m leaving New York, Aspen. I’m moving home. I wantyou.” He reached up to cup my chin and his fingers brushed under my choker and against my bite marks and the Band-Aid there.
He frowned. “What happened?”
Frick!
“Curling iron.” I stepped back. “We should head down to the gala.”
“Aspen, I just told you I was moving home and I want you back.” He looked vulnerable for the first time in forever and I felt so guilty I wanted to cry.
What was I supposed to say,I actually just kissed you to prove to myself I wasn’t developing sexual feelings for a vampire?
“I … need to process that. We should head down to the gala,” I told him again.
He nodded, seeming to get the social cue that I wasn’t interested in talking or touching anymore.
“Can we talk about this when we get home?” His voice held such vulnerability that it pinched at my heart. I’d known he had commitment issues when I started dating him, I just thought I would be the one to fix him. Every woman probably thought that about their man’s issues. Maybe I would have enjoyed that kiss more if my head wasn’t such a jumble.
“Sure. When we get home.” I gave him a slight smile.
He seemed to relax at that and then stepped up to my side, extending his arm. “Shall we?”
I slipped my hand into his, all the while feeling like an imposter in my own skin, and put on a fake smile.
