“Shifter births are quicker, I think. My mom said something about it, but I never listened,” was all Sage offered. “She’s stuck halfway, Demi, I can see the tip of her ear. I need one more push and I can pull her out.”
The pain was unbearable, so much so that my legs shook and I wanted to pass out. I burst into sobs. This was too hard. It hurt too much and I wanted Sawyer here. I wanted my mom, I wanted a fucking epidural.
“I can’t,” I whimpered. “It hurts.”
“Demi Calloway-Hudson, you are the strongest woman I know. You canabsolutelydo this!” Sage yelled.
My belly seized up again as the pain of another contraction hit me, and I held my breath, pushing with everything I had.
I pushed so hard I was sure I was going to push out my organs! There was a searing pain, like someone had lit my vagina on fire, and then a giant relief. I collapsed to the ground, trembling as the throbbing between my legs lessened.
“It’s a … boy,” Sage said beside me, and then burst into tears. “A beautiful boy, Demi. You did it!”
I rolled onto my back as I burst into sobs. My eyes searched the space until they landed on Sage and the naked flailing baby in her arms.
He let loose with a big cry, and Sage and I both erupted into relieved laughing.
I did it!
Reaching out, she lay him on my bare chest, and I peered down into his deep blue eyes. Seeing those eyes, his tiny perfect button nose, and thick mop of dark brown hair, it formed a sob in my throat. He lookedjustlike his dad. I’d stopped reliving the memories of Sawyer in my head the past few months; they were too painful. Sawyer the day I met him at Delphi, Sawyer when he proposed, Sawyer kissing me. Now all of those memories came rushing back and my unbridled joy was mixed with a deep yearning for this baby to know his father, for Sawyer to see what perfect creature we’d created.
“Oh my God, he’s a mini Sawyer.” Sage knelt on the ground with me and looked down at him. “Crap, we didn’t brainstorm boy names!”
I chuckled, looking into those deep blue eyes as he searched mine curiously. “Creek Curt Calloway-Hudson.”
Tears ran down my face in thin rivulets as baby Creek started to make an “O” with his mouth, before finding my nipple.
“I think that’s a perfect name.” Sage’s voice was thick with emotion. “Also, I never thought I would say this, but I’m going to get the placenta bowl.”
I burst into laughter, and Sage did too. I was so glad she was here. What a gift loyal and true friends were.
I grinned, looking down at my perfect baby boy. “Your Auntie Sage is a little crazy but you’re going to love her.”
I placed a kiss on his soft head and he clamped a hand around my finger. My heart throbbed in that moment, because Sawyer should be here. This was so beautiful, I couldn’t imagine raising this child without my mate.
“We’re going to find Daddy, okay? Don’t worry,” I told Creek, and then the exhaustion pulled at my limbs and I lay my head back to rest.
Three months later…
I didn’t knowwhether to celebrate being here one year or cry. Baby Creek was three months old and could now hold his head up, so we didn’t need to worry about the floppy neck he’d had the first two months. I was sleep deprived as all hell, but Sage was such a huge help. Sometimes I just woke up in the middle of the night and Sage was holding the baby to my chest so he could breastfeed, then she would change him and bring him back to his bassinette.
We’d made some tightly packed cotton diaper pouches, but mostly we let him be naked and tried to take him outside often to pee or poo. I was probably completely psychologically damaging him by treating him like a dog in potty training, but we were doing the best we could. Slipping Creek into the carrier Sage had made me, I stepped outside to find her.
She was washing some tubers outside in a large clay pot. We knew nothing about when to feed a baby food, but baby Creek had started grabbing for our food at mealtimes, so we’d decided to try some mashed potatoes today.
“Hey, I was thinking of meditating for a bit, do you mind looking after him?” I asked Sage. “He’s just fed.”
Her hair was waist-length and braided into a thick red rope at her back. When she looked up at me, she smiled. “Absolutely. Come to Auntie, sunshine.” She dropped the tubers and held out her arms.
I quickly unslung him and handed him off. “Thanks.”
I’d been searching for a deeper meaning to everything lately. The universe, God, whatever Astra believed, something that would give order or meaning to my life in the grander picture. I just felt like there was a missing piece here and that it might be something spiritual within me that was broken and needed fixing. I began the meditation a week after baby Creek was born and I’d been doing it daily ever since. It helped with my stress of not being able to get back home, and the feelings of hopelessness quickly eased.
Today, I was going to search deep within myself and ask myselfwhatI still needed to trust, because now that I had Creek, I couldn’t imagine raising him without his father and grandparents. And I missed my pack: Astra, Arrow, Willow, and even Rab. Today I would start cave hunting again on a daily basis until we got out of here.
Stepping away from Sage and the baby, I walked to the edge of our little meadow and sat down on the smooth flat rock that overlooked the steep embankment that led to the trickling creek, the creek I’d named my son after.
One year. One year ago today I entered the woods for my alpha trial … I told Sawyer I would see him in three days. I saidthree daysand it had been ayear.
