A single tear slipped from her eye and she wiped it away with the back of her palm. Turning back to face me, she walked over to the little wooden alter she had set up and kneeled before the purple flickering candle, clasping her hands and muttering unintelligible words under her breath.
I sat there awkwardly, unsure what to do when she stood, a smile back on her face. “I understand, Demi, and I respect your choice. Let me give you a tour? See if you can help in another way?”
I frowned.
She called meDemi, not Alpha, and it felt like a slap in the face, but I ignored it.
“Absolutely. I can totally help in other ways. Food, goods, I mean whatever you need I can get them when the war dies down.”
She nodded and we stepped out of the room and back up the stairs.
* * *
Two hours later,I knew exactly what she’d done. She didn’t “give me a tour,” she threw my heart into a blender and hit pulse. I’d been through the dying wheat fields, the rotten corn crops, the completely foul fruit orchard, all black with disease, all screaming:You are a piece of shit if you don’t go into the Dark Woods and heal this land.
“The land is dying from the loss of the alpha’s magic that is tied to it. That can only happen when the trial alpha reaches the Cave of Magic,” Astra had told me as we’d walked through the putrid corn field.
I’d just nodded at first, ignoring her apparent sales pitch. But then she brought me to the birthing center. There were over two hundred women currently pregnant, and when Astra set one of the brand new babies in my arms, I frowned when I noticed something was off with the child. He seemed happy enough but … I couldn’t put my finger on it.
I stared down at him, so small and innocent, while I tried to figure out what was nagging at my brain. Weeping came from the room down the hall as Astra leaned in close to me. “Born without a wolf. It will happen until our new alpha goes through the rite of passage, finds the cave, and shows they are worthy and claims the land and people.”
I stared at her in horror, and then back at the baby. The eyes.It was the eyes!They were … brown. Beautiful brown baby eyes, but … not the magical blue of the Paladin people. I inhaled, smelling the baby.
Human.
“Are you telling me that two Paladins just gave birth to a human?” I whisper-screamed to her. How the hell was that possible? Even a Paladin and a human would have a child that could shift into wolf form.
Astra nodded, stroking the boy’s forehead lovingly as I held him. “Not enough magic to go around now that Red is gone.”
The guilt of her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I quickly handed her the baby before the sob ripped from my throat. Then I ran down the hall and burst out of the door. The cool breeze hit my face as I thought of what that poor mother must be going through. What that child would live with. Was being human awful? No, but to grow up different, among wolves and not being able to shift or heal, he’d be a freak. Because of me. He was a beautiful healthy baby boy, but he wasn’t a wolf, not like he should be. My breath came in and out in ragged gasps as I surveyed the dying land before me. What I’d seen today was a good people, a hardworking people who didn’t deserve to lose their magic, their wolves, all because I was scared of being gone too long.
‘I need to see you. I have to talk to you about something in person. It’s important,’I told Sawyer as the panic threatened to fully take hold of me.
His reply was immediate.‘Are you okay?’
Tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t imagine losing my wolf, not now that I knew she was the one reason I was left living, that she was my protector when Vicon and his buddies took my virginity against my will.
‘No. I’m not. I need to see you, Sawyer.’
‘Alright, I’ll have Eugene escort you back to me when he gets there, but can you bring some protection? Maybe twenty Paladins? The Wild Lands are crawling with Ithaki and vampires right now.’
Ask more people to risk their life for me? Sure thing.
‘Okay,’I said.
‘Okay … see you tonight.’
“You okay?” a familiar voice called behind me, and I quickly wiped my tears and spun on my heel.
Rab. I sighed when I saw him. “Come to gloat at my emotional weakness?”
He shrugged. “I came to see if you were hungry. My mate just made lunch. She wants to meet you.”
I internally groaned, looking to the door of the birthing center, where Astra waved me off.
“I’ll meet up with you later!” she said, as if she’d overheard us.
“Sure,” I told him, wondering why he would invite me to lunch after he was such a dick to me before. Why would his mate want to meet me? Hopefully, she was nothing like him. I wasn’t in the mood to dine withtwoassholes.
