She looked unsure. Scared. Sick. Her wide eyes registered me with shock.
‘You’re staying here?’Her voice in my head was full of hurt, and I swallowed hard and nodded.
“Do you need to be escorted back to your village?” Sawyer asked kindly, misinterpreting the fear in her eyes.
She shook her head, wiping away a lone tear. “No.” She started to walk away, but when she reached the flag line, she looked back at me, and I was such a coward I couldn’t meet her gaze.
My heart fluttered against my ribcage as she stared at me.
‘Paladin people are blessed. Without an alpha to anchor us, our magic withers and dies. You must come home. Soon.’Her words in my head sent shivers down my spine.
Home.
Home.
Home.
“That was weird,” Sawyer commented, snapping me out of my stupor.
I reached for him, and he for me.
“Tell me everything,” he said, brushing a piece of hair from my cheek.
I nodded. “Are my parents safe? Raven?”
“Yes. I got them out of the Witch Lands before things got scary there.”
I didn’t even want to know what “got scary there” meant.
Marmal flew into my mind and I squeezed his arm. “I need to get a message to someone first, then we can talk.”
After handwriting a lengthy note and inquiring as to the wellbeing of Ginny, I gave the note to one of Sawyer’s guards and he agreed to get it to Marmal of Rosedale.
Walsh and Sage both agreed to catch up with us later. Sawyer and I went to his apartment, where he ordered tons of food and I told him everything about my trip. Almost everything. I left out Arrow and the alpha stuff. I hadn’t even really processed that information myself, and I didn’t think it was going to do any good right now with Sawyer having his own problems to worry about.
“Now your turn,” I told him.
He scrubbed his face before popping a strawberry into his mouth and looking at me across the dinner table next to his kitchen. “I need you to know that I wasn’t myself when I found you kissing that fake motherfucker who I will most certainly find and kill.”
I swallowed hard but didn’t say anything as he continued. “It was like I was possessed. Possessed with rage and hatred for you, and drunk on fake love and adoration for Meredith. But also confused because I still loved you. It’s like they couldn’t take that from me.”
Pain sliced through my chest, making my entire body ache as I remembered the moment he cast me out of my own engagement party and declared Meredith his future wife.
“Raven told me once that you can’t make a love spell work on someone you don’t have feelings for…”
There, I said it.
He nodded as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, Meredith and I were together for two years. Ididlove her at the time, but she changed. Became colder and calculating, more controlling. I donotlove her anymore, but I still cared about what happened to her. It’s why I pulled her aside to tell her I was going to pick you. I cared that she wasn’t hurt publicly, and I think that care for her wellbeing was what fueled the spell.”
I snorted. “Ironic considering you publicly humiliated me.”
Pain and shame crossed his features, making his face contort into a grimace. “I’m acompletefucking asshole for that. Magic aside. I remember everything I said and did. It was like watching a train wreck and I couldn’t stop it.” He stood, walked over to my chair, and bent down in front of me. “I’ve messed up a lot with you, haven’t I?”
My mind went to the time he forcibly cuffed me, and then with Meredith, and I nodded. But I knew everything he did was because he thought he was protecting me. Or he was magically drugged by his psycho ex.
“Allow meone morechance.” He reached out and grabbed my hips, pulling me onto his lap. “One more chance and I’ll get it right. I promise I won’t fuck up this time.”
His blue eyes searched mine desperately, and I couldn’t help the warmth that thawed my heart. People made mistakes, but a man that could admit them, apologize, and try to do better, was worth his weight in gold.
