Two words. Two very fucking painful words.
Silent tears trailed down my face, and I pushed them away quickly. Why hadn’t I brought Kira? Why hadn’t I brought healing water? I’d thought Kira was best used watching over the Queen, and the healing water didn’t even register in my mind because I’d been so focused on saving Liam.
Shittiest temp Queen ever. Shittiest everything. I wanted to lie here on the hard ground for a month and just not feel anything. I was so sick of feeling, so sick of the burdens I had to carry to lead everyone.
But there was no one else. Not right now. So I stuffed down my grief and took in a deep breath.
“Where are we? Were we followed?” I asked Liam and Jasper, looking around at sprawling green rolling hills. If I weren’t so depressed, I would remark on their beauty.
“A safe house in Wyoming. Not followed, and Jasper has been magically blocking us from the Winter King, but we don’t know how long that will last.”
I nodded then looked at Jasper. “Thank you.”
He waved me off. “It’s my job.”
Reaching out, I grasped his hand and squeezed it. “It’s above and beyond your job. I’m adding ten more acres to your land plot.”
A smile curled at his lips, but then he quickly wiped it away and released my hand. “Feeling better?” he asked.
I nodded. “Physically, yes.” My leg still had a healing knife wound, but someone had wrapped it, so it was manageable. Whatever healing I’d done on it before had stopped the bleeding, and that’s all that mattered.
Liam rubbed his chin and then looked at Jasper. “Do you mind giving us a moment?”
Jasper stood, giving us both a curt nod, and strode away to the house. A small log cabin with a wrap-around porch. The more I looked around, the more peaceful this place felt.
“Lily.” Liam stroked a finger across the top of my hand. “We need to talk about something… unpleasant.”
My gaze flicked up to his as my heart jackknifed in my chest. All of his men, he lost over twenty men. Fresh tears sprung in my eyes. “I’m so sorry. Your guys… they… oh gods, I’m so sorry Liam.”
He reached out and pulled me to his chest, crushing me against him. His hold was almost too hard, and that felt good. It felt good to remember I was in this world, being held so tightly it hurt. “It’s not your fault. They knew what they signed up for.” He released me, and his throat was rough. “That’s not what we need to talk about.”
I frowned. “What is it?”
With a big sigh, Liam pointed to the truck. “You’ve been asleep for about twelve hours. Mara’s… body is starting to decompose.”
Oh gods…
“I know you wanted to bring her back to Faerie, but… there is no freezer here and…”
I put one hand over my mouth to cover a sob and another in front of his face, indicating he stop talking.
Mara. She lived her whole life a slave to the blue doors and only left her house upon her death… I wanted her to have a proper Faerie sendoff, but this place was beautiful, the wide-open land; it was freeing, not confined by the walls of a home any longer.
“Is there a shovel?” I asked with grit in my voice.
He nodded. “We found two in the garage.”
Standing up, I winced at the throbbing in my leg.
“I’ll bury her here,” I told him and started to limp to the garage.
Liam trailed after me. “I’ll dig the grave with Cam. Lily, you should rest—”
“I alone will bury Mara!” I snapped and then felt guilty when I saw the hurt cross his face. Reaching out, I grasped his face, raking my fingers lightly down his jaw. “Liam, I need to do this.”
He must have seen something in my eyes because he nodded. “Okay.”
Leaning in, I placed a quick kiss on his lips, and he followed me to the open garage.
