"Yes," I nod slowly, my answer as honest as my previous one. "But that doesn't mean you should. She has given tremendous consideration to her choice. Knowing what I know, seeing what I’ve seen, if I were terminal, I’d want my last days to be living life with my family."
Autumn traces lines in the wood grain of my table. "In a way, it reminds me of the abortion. The choice, I mean. It was my body and I made the choice." Her lips twist, and I sense she's not done talking. "Do I regret it? Yes. Do I wish the circumstances had been different? With my whole heart. Did I feel I had to do it? Also yes. I made a choice for my body, using the information I had at the time. She's doing the same."
I nod, pulling her closer into me. "I know it's not easy, Autumn, but I'm going to go through this with you, if you'll let me. Okay?"
Tears line her eyes as she nods. "I want you there through every step. Including flying in a helicopter and seeing a show in Vegas."
I shake my head, confused. "How did we get from your mom to Vegas?"
"She told me some things she wants to do before … before she…" The word sticks in her throat.
"Helicopter, Vegas, what else?" I'm trying to rescue her from saying the word she so clearly cannot express.
"Time with us. Me. And you. Coffee with Linda. Basic stuff."
"We'll do it all," I assure her, brushing a kiss over the back of her neck. I don't tell her how soon we'll need to do it. Making sure it happens in a timely manner will be my job.
Autumn takes a bite of her pizza, eyebrows raising like she has just realized something.
"What?" I ask, taking a bite too.
"My period is due any day now … so I guess we’ll see…"
The broken condom. It’s not that I forgot it, only that it was pushed to the back of my mind when Theresa showed up in my office with Faith’s scans.
Autumn mistakes my lack of response for worry. Her eyes crease in concern. “Do you regret that I didn't take the Plan B?”
How do I tell her that I don't really care if we use protection again anytime soon? I should tread lightly, go slow, butfuckI don't want to. I want to snatch her up and make her mine, and if I’ve learned anything through all this with Faith, it’s that life isn't guaranteed.
Tracing the lines on the inside of her palm, I ask, “What do you think about forgetting birth control altogether?”
She blinks in surprise. She doesn't look like she hates my question. In fact, she looks intrigued, giving me the courage I need to push on. "I'm not looking to spend years dating you,” I tell her. “I don't need to get married tomorrow, but I know you're who I'm meant to be with." I run my hand up and down her arm. "So, my love, you just say the word. You tell me how all this is going to go. Because you have me. All of me. Forever."
Autumn tosses the rest of her pizza in the open box and wraps her arms around me. "How is this the saddest and happiest day of my life at the same time? Owen Miller, you are the person all the rest of my days belong to, and I don't care that our past is muddy because all the days ahead of us are bright.” Leaning forward, she kisses me before pulling back and staring at me with her big brown-eyed gaze. “I love you, Owen.”
My stomach warms at her declaration.
"Are you sure?" I ask, teasing her, trying to ease some of the seriousness. "You loved teenage me, but what if you don't like adult me? What if I've developed some terrible habits?"
"Too."Kiss."Late."Kiss.
"Well, good, because I love you too, Autumn Cummings. And I never stopped."
She pulls back and eyes me. "Are you trying to one-up me?"
My nose presses against the hollow of her throat. “How about I take you back to my bedroom and show you?"
I cup her backside and lift as she wraps her legs around my waist. Carrying her to my bedroom, our lips are locked the entire time. Her hands are in my hair, dragging strokes that shoot straight down to the center of my body, the effect of them immediate.
We undress in a hurry, needing so badly to be skin-to-skin. She lies back on my bed, watching me as I crawl up her body.
I line myself up with her, easing in, my gaze steady on hers, watching her face. I need to see her, need to capture every moment.
This is heaven on Earth. All of Autumn. Nothing held back.
Breath hisses between my teeth as I fill her completely. She wraps her hands around my neck, pulling me down, kissing me. We go slowly, relishing the closeness, reveling in the feeling of being bare. The closeness makes it difficult to hold back, but I focus my willpower and wait until I feel her muscles clench around me. The middle of her back lifts off the bed and I hold her, kissing her neck, letting go with her.
After a moment, I roll off her, trying to take her with me so I can pull her into my chest, but she resists.
