Autumn frowns. The conversation is moving away from where I want it to go, and I have to get it back.
"I have the day off tomorrow. Can we get that coffee?"
Autumn nods and reaches for the handle to lift the grill, but I get to it first.
"Let me."
She steps back and I take care of the fish. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her run her fingers under her eyes one more time, wiping away any evidence of upset.
"You ready?" I ask, pausing with the tray in my hand.
She nods and follows me back across the yard and into the house. Halfway through dinner, Faith sets her fork down and says she doesn't feel well.
"What's wrong?" I ask her, leaning forward. The doctor in me is examining her appearance; the human in me feels the cold whisper of my own fear.
"Just some nausea, that's all."
She does look a little pale. "Can I get you anything?" I ask.
Chemo is a necessary beast. It borders on killing everything good inside of the patient while killing everything bad.
She pushes away from the table. "I think I'll just go lie down."
"Faith, hang on." I stand up, coming around the table to stand in front of her. I lift my hand, hovering it in the air in front of her forehead. "May I?"
She nods, and I place the back side of my hand against her forehead. She's warm, but not hot. Not a real fever, at least not one that's concerning. Chemotherapy side effects are to be expected. Even though my rational doctor brain knows all this, I still feel a trickle of concern.
"All good," I tell her. It's not a lie. I'm managing her stress level, and I don't have a thermometer. What I know is that she's not burning up.
She steps around me, but stops when she gets a few feet away. As she turns back around, she looks at Autumn. "Thank you for dinner, hon. I never thought I'd actually like kale."
Autumn musters a smile, but I can see the worry in her creased forehead. Faith leaves the room and I begin gathering dishes from the table.
"Why don't you go hang out for a bit and I'll take care of the dishes." Autumn takes them from me.
I start to protest, but she stops me with a swift shake of her head. "You're clearly exhausted, Owen. And I know you're worried about my mom." She glances in the direction of Faith's bedroom. "I am, too. I'd feel better if you stayed for a while. Just to make sure she doesn't suddenly get a high fever or something."
Tension I didn't know I'd been holding melts away. I like the idea of staying here for a bit and monitoring Faith.
"Okay," I agree, leaving the kitchen and going to the living room. I find a baseball game on the TV and sit back in Faith's recliner. I'll give it an hour and then I'll check on her.
Chapter 11
Autumn
After what happenedlast night with Owen, and then what happened in the back yard with him earlier, I need a little space. That's why, when I finish cleaning up the kitchen from dinner, I don't immediately go to find him in the living room. He's watching baseball. I can hear the booming voices of the announcers.
I pour myself a glass of white wine from the bottles I bought last week and take it outside. My mom has set up a covered sitting area near the back of the yard. It's not big, just large enough for a love seat and little round coffee table. Potted geraniums flank the love seat, giving it a nice spring feel. Instead of a wall, the backside is a trellis. A vining flower, I'm not sure what kind, grows unrestrained, winding its way through the diamond-shaped holes. The flowers are a brilliant royal purple and they lighten my mood the tiniest bit.
Glass in hand, I settle into the center of the love seat, tucking my legs underneath me and laying one arm across the back. My mom's house sits at the top of the gently sloping street, and from this spot I can see past her wood fence and out into acres of pinyon pines and juniper trees. Other homes are tucked in among the trees, but from here it looks like nothing but green. The sky is a dark orange and soon the stars will decorate the sky. If I turn off all the lights inside the house, the sky will twinkle spectacularly. Sedona is a certified dark sky community. Light pollution is taken very seriously here, and it shows. It's part of what makes Sedona so special.
My heart twists as I realize how much I've missed this place.
When I left here at eighteen, I didn't walk. I ran. I'd had a problem, something bigger than me. A problem I created.
But I guess it wasn't just me who created the problem. Owen had a hand in it. A pretty big one.
When I left Sedona, I wasn’t sure where we stood. He showed up in Santa Clara. After my first day of classes, I dragged myself back to my dorm room to find Owen sitting outside my door. Beside him was a guy with dark hair that flopped over his forehead. This person was a stranger to me, and then Owen stood up and turned into a stranger before my eyes.
