Suddenly, looking at my neighbor’s house, she seems to realize where we are.
“Did you just finger me in your dad’s driveway?” She grins, looking young and carefree, like the old Autumn.
I’m still breathing heavily, wondering what it would be like to make love to her. I’m no longer mad that my dad’s a drunk, because it made this happen.
She looks up at me. "The person I met tonight was a girl. I made a friend."
I laugh once, a relieved sound. "The person who called was my dad. He wanted a drinking buddy..."
One side of her mouth curls into a small smile and I know this is the perfect moment for our talk.
“Autumn, I’m so sorry for what—”
Her face falls and it stops me short. “Owen, don’t.”
My brows furrow. “Don’t what? I’ve been waiting ten years to apologize to you and you’re not going to let me? Why?”
She chews her lip. “Because I’m afraid it won’t do anything.”
Shit. Afraid it won’t fix anything, she means. Afraid that even the most heartfelt apology can’t make her love me again. If that’s not the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is.
She looks into my eyes and I can see the questions floating around in there. They mirror my own.
"Autumn—" I try again.
A garbled yell comes from the front of the house. "Owen?"
Panic takes the place of questions as I remember my father. I step away from Autumn, reaching down to adjust the front of my pants a final time as Autumn runs a hand across her shirt, smoothing out wrinkles that aren't there.
"Coming, Dad," I yell back, grabbing Autumn's hand and pulling her along behind me.
I round the corner and find my dad standing in the space between Faith's car and my own, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.
"Owen, did you know Autumn is in town?" He looks at Faith's car, a thick slur to his voice. "This is her car. Where is she?"
Autumn steps around me. "Right here." She waves slowly, cheeks bright red.
Dad sways in the moonlight and I realize he’s drunker than usual tonight. "For a second there I thought I dreamed it." He shakes his head and starts to stumble forward. Autumn and I rush forward, but I get to him first.
He crashes into me as I wrap an arm around his shoulder. Embarrassment flushes through me. "I'm going to take him inside. I'll be right back."
This is my moment with Autumn and my dad is ruining it.
Autumn nods.
I get my dad to the front door, use my key to unlock it, and walk him to his bedroom. He insists he can dress himself, so I wait outside his bedroom door for him to do so. After a few minutes, he pulls open the door. He's wearing a checkered button-up shirt and plaid shorts. He looks like a drunken golfer and my depression deepens.
"Don't let me keep you, Owen. Go out there to the girl you've never been able to get over."
He closes the door and I listen. Imagine, my dad giving me good advice for a change.
Excitement thrums through me as I walk back outside, thinking of what happened on the side of the house with Autumn. We have a lot to talk about, but we've taken a step forward. It's everything I've been waiting on for years. It’s proof that what we had can never really die, no matter how scarred our past.
I walk out to the driveway, a smile the size of Texas on my face.
But my smile is washed away like a wave at the sea.
Autumn is gone.
