“He was abusive. She wants nothing to do with him,” Ethan had interjected on my behalf.
Understanding had dawned on their eyes, but then they’d asked the inevitable. Did I file a report on the abuse? Take pictures? Without any of that I couldn’t get a restraining order. They told me the best I could do would be to send him a strongly-worded email that made it clear I did not want any more gifts or contact, and if he kept doing it, then they could consider stalking charges.
As I watched them drive away, I looked at my watch and then at Ethan. “People will be here in fifteen minutes,” I told Ethan, who shut the door and sighed. “Let’s put this entire thing behind us. I just want to forget about it. Christmas is my favorite holiday.”
“I want to kill him,” he said in a stone cold voice that made chills run the length of my arms.
I wanted Bryce gone too, but not at the expense of putting Ethan in prison. But clearly Bryce wasn’t taking no for an answer. Like, what the fuck else did I need to do to get him to understand I was never going back to him?
I was tempted to unblock his number and see if he was texting me, but I pushed that aside. That’s how he won, by taking space inside my head and captivating my thoughts, my time with Ethan.
I changed the subject: “Please tell me this party is potluck and all you were supposed to prepare were those cookies.”
Ethan grinned. “It’s potluck. All I was supposed to prepare were the cookies and the honey baked ham.”
My eyes widened. “A ham! In fifteen minutes!”
Laughter burst from him as he reached out and pulled me in his arms. “I’m kidding. Cookies and salad. That’s it.”
He knew how to rile me up and lighten the mood. I reached my arms around his waist, feeling the glucose monitor there. Memory of the hurt I’d felt when he took me off his account flushed through me. “I want one more gift from you for Christmas,” I told him, and grabbed his phone. “Put me back on your account.”
He chuckled, dark hair falling across his forehead. “Promise not to neurotically check it every ten minutes?”
I held up three fingers in my best Girl Scouts honor pose. “Only every twenty minutes.”
We both smiled.
It wasn’t an ideal Christmas, but all that mattered was that we were together.
* * *
The next day,I kept reflecting on the Audi delivery and what I could do to get through to Bryce that he needed to move on. The party had been a blast. Very chill, everyone low key; I won the cookie decorating challenge. No one else had thought to make a piping bag out of a zip lock baggie. Ethan must have texted the boys that I’d broken up with him to protect him from Bryce, because they were all super nice to me. Sebastian actually apologized for his previous chilly demeanor from when I’d come to collect my bike. All was forgiven and life felt pretty good. Except for the fact that Bryce wouldn’t let me go… I needed to do something about that.
I decided the best I could do would be to write him a long email like the police had suggested. Something that I could later show police if necessary.
As I sat down to type the letter in my she-cave, which was now littered with study note cards and textbooks, I took a deep, cleansing breath.
This was my last ditch attempt to make him see reason before I let Ethan and his boys go give Bryce a scare like they’d been begging me to.
Dear Bryce,
When I met you in the hall between 3rdand 4thperiod, it was like time stopped. The rich and popular Bryce Conner was talking to me. Flirting with me. I felt so important, so treasured and loved. Little did I know that was all for show. You kept your demons locked inside of you until I married you and it was too late. I’m not sure that you’ve ever really loved me, because you don’t know what unconditional love is. You don’t know what a healthy relationship is. I’m writing this letter to say that the first time you struck me, it fractured my soul. When someone you love and trust does something so vile, it breaks you. After my mother died, you became my family. I put every ounce of trust in you that I had and you broke it. You made me fear you, you made me hate you. Your controlling nature and delusional personality have finally led you astray.
Bryce. We are Divorced.
I am NOT your wife anymore. I want nothing to do with you. EVER.
Please stop sending me gifts, texting me scary things, having me followed, having my new boyfriend followed. My life is without you now and I’m done communicating with you. If you send me anything again, I’m going to have to go to the police and file stalking charges. Your money can’t hide you from that.
I hope you can get the help you need.
Have a nice life.
Bye.
Hailey Willows
Tears leaked down my cheeks as I read the letter. It was liberating to let all of that out and know that he would read it. With one final cleansing breath, I hit send and let it go. From now on I wasn’t taking any more shit from Bryce. His next attempt to even send me a water bottle would be logged with the police.
