I hadn’t thought about my mother in a long time. It was easier that way. She wasn’t mother of the year, but she was the only one I had and she loved me fiercely. She’d been lost to a drug addiction, but I never held that against her. She was weak-willed and she’d done her best. Just like I was doing now. My god damn best. Navigating this shit with Bryce alone was wearing on me. I popped off my bike and walked it into the gates, turning right at the entrance.
I’d only been here a couple times, and yet I knew the path right to her grave. I’d committed it to memory. When poor people die, there is no funeral, no fancy granite headstone or procession of limos. The state put you in a cement grave and stuck a two-inch nameplate on a stick and that was it. That was all my mom got.
When I reached her final resting place, I propped my bike on its kickstand and fell to my knees.
Gloria Willows. 1977-2013
Thirty-six. She had only been given thirty-six years before life chewed her up and spit her out. She’d had me already by the age I was now.
The cemetery only had a few people and they were pretty far away, so I just started to talk. I talked to my mom like she was still alive and caught her up on all she’d missed. Me going to live with the foster family, going off to private school and meeting Bryce. Getting married at eighteen and living through hell in that marriage. Meeting Ethan. Everything. I laughed and cried and it felt like a five hundred pound weight had been lifted off of me. I realized then how much it had been killing me not to tell anyone about why I’d really broken up with Ethan. How I was still in love with him and only wanted to protect him.
When I was done sharing my life story with my mom, I just sat there peacefully, breathing, before finally deciding to head back to the hostel. I was just standing to leave, noticing it was getting dark outside, when my phone buzzed with a text.
It was from Bryce. I almost didn’t want to read it but that fucker had a way of pulling me in. What if it was about Ethan?
What kind of stupid girl refunds her paid college tuition? Clearly not smart enough to go to college. PS How is your mom?
The college shit I expected. His comments about me being stupid rolled right off me. But the mom thing … that made chills break out on my arms. I spun around, looking left and then right, but there was no one here. Other than one car, an older black Honda Civic that was driving away.
He was having me followed.
I decided to poke the bear. Fuck Bryce.
What kind of pathetic limp dick guy needs to stalk his ex and try to buy her back with money?
The second I sent it, I felt vindicated. I’d never spoken to him like that before and it felt so good.
I always faked it with you. You suck in bed,I fired off.
I sent another:I can’t even divorce you in peace. You have to follow me out to Phoenix like a puppy.
I went for the kill:I felt more for Ethan in our few months together than I did for you in our entire marriage.
“Fuck you Bryce!” I screamed to the empty cemetery, imagining my mom giving me a fist bump across the dinner table like she would when I would get an A on my report card.
When his reply came back, I glanced down at my phone.
Oh you’re going to regret that.
Shit.Maybe I’d taken the Bryce bashing too far? It was getting dark, and considering he was somehow watching me, I’d better get on my bike and get the hell out of here. Normally when I was scared, I could call Ethan, but I’d burned that bridge. Next would be Angela but she had her kid.
I was alone. For the first time since leaving Ethan, I truly felt alone. An odd sense of calmness washed over me. I’d cut off Ethan so Bryce wouldn’t hurt him anymore. My mom was dead and I didn’t know who my father was. There was literally no one left in this world that Bryce could hurt to get to me. If he hurt me, I would deal with it and that was okay, but he couldn’t threaten me anymore. I wasn’t going to live in fear. I was free and I was going to enjoy that freedom as best I could.
I peddled quickly with cautious glances over my shoulder, but I didn’t expect Bryce to retaliate right away. That wasn’t his style. No, he would sit on it, plan it out, and then come after me. When he did, I’d be ready.
* * *
The very next day,I decided to take matters into my own hands. It was Angela’s idea and I was stoked for it.
“Hi, I’d like to sign up for a class?” I told the lady behind the desk.
She looked me up and down. “You?”
Okay, I wasn’t exactly buff, but that didn’t mean I was out of shape. “Yes. Me. Krav Maga.”
My eyes flicked over to the gym mat behind her, where a six-foot-tall dude was taking another dude to the ground and I grinned. I’d love to lay Bryce out on his ass the next time he tried to touch me.
She held her hands up. “Okay. You got it. Our women’s class meets every Monday night and it’s twenty bucks a class.”
