Turning from the kitchen, I ran to my room and slammed the door. Hysteria slammed into me and I felt like I was making a huge mistake. But what if I told him I was leaving because I thought Bryce was going to hurt him if I didn’t? He’d kill Bryce and end up in jail. If I stayed with him, Bryce would hurt Ethan and I’d never be able to live with myself. This was the only way.
I grabbed my bags, already having packed them before dinner, and looked at the bed. I’d left the bedding … it was a gift and I didn’t feel right keeping it. Especially since I didn’t need bedding at the youth hostel.
Standing there, I tried to control my breathing, to get the tears to stop falling. I couldn’t completely fall apart or he would wonder why this chick who didn’t love him was losing her shit over him. Reaching out for my phone, I ordered an Uber. I must have stood there a full five minutes before I felt I was composed enough to leave the room, leave the man who’d given me hope, who’d given me love.
Peeling open the door, I stepped out and prepared myself for him to beg me to stay, to call me on my shit, but his bedroom door was shut and he wasn’t there. Maybe it was better this way. Through blurry tears, I made my way down the stairs and outside. Once I used my key to close up the shop, I slipped the single key off my key ring and dropped it in the key-drop box. He’d find it there in the morning and figure out what it was for. I’d have to come back for my bike later. My possessions had ballooned to two large duffle bags and I couldn’t carry them while riding my bike.
As the Uber pulled away to take me to the youth hostel, I got an alert on my phone. It was from the app that helped me monitor Ethan’s blood sugar.
You’ve been removed from this account.
A sharp pang sliced through my chest reading those words. I don’t know why, but him removing me from his account hurt me most of all.
It was over. We were over before we had really even begun.
What had I done?
Through blurry, enraged tears, I texted Bryce.
I broke up with Ethan.
Then I threw my phone on my lap and burst into tears as the Uber driver cast worried glances in the back seat.
Bryce’s reply was immediate.
Good girl.
He’d won. I was trapped all over again and he’d won.
* * *
Two weeks.It had been two weeks since I’d left Ethan, and a deep depression had settled into my bones. The few times Angela had tried to probe for more information about why I broke up with him, I just kept it vague.“I can’t do serious right now. I have issues,”I’d told her.
I tried to keep busy with school, which was getting more challenging, and Angela and I hung out often, but she had a kid so there were many nights that I was alone. I hung late at the public library, or sat at a Starbucks studying, anything to keep from going back to the hostel. My new bunkmate's name was Frida, and she was a chatterbox. I needed to find my own place but couldn’t yet afford it. I was still paying my way through school and I really didn’t want to pay any student loans. I’d avoided Ethan for as long as I could, but today I’d have to go over there and get my bike. Taking Ubers everywhere was getting expensive, and I hated walking too far alone at night.
I had texted him right after I’d left class to see if I could come grab my bike in an hour and he’d replied with one word.
Sure.
After everything we’d been through together, we’d been reduced to one-word texts. It fucking broke my heart. I loved Ethan, and I wanted to keep him safe, but I also didn’t want Bryce to be keeping me from happiness. Two weeks after that text I’d sent him about Ethan and I breaking up and I hadn’t seen or heard anything. No Friday text of “How’s Ethan?” No mysterious Louis Vuitton’s, nothing. Maybe he just wanted me to be alone forever and then he’d back off.
“Next!” the lady at the student services window called, snapping me out of my stupor. I’d been paying my tuition in cash each semester and this semester’s payment was due today. I’d just made enough tips from last night to cover it. Living at the hostel was more expensive than Ethan’s, so I was going to have to work harder to make ends meet.
“Hey, I need to pay my tuition. Hailey Willows. Nursing.” I set the stack of cash on the counter.
Her long purple and glitter fingernails typed away at the keyboard. This lady was new, I hadn’t met her yet.
“Ma’am, you already paid.” She gave me an annoyed look. “Next!” She shouted to someone behind me.
Alarm bells started going off as panic rushed through me. Fucking BRYCE!
I put out a hand to stop the next student from stepping forward and glared at the lady. “Who paid it? When?” I growled.
She raised one eyebrow as if to tell me not to sass her. “I’m sorry,” I amended. “This is important. I have a stalker,” I whispered. I figured a partial truth was best here.
Her features softened. “Three days ago. We don’t keep record of who paid, but someone paid for the rest of your degree here.”
Anger flushed through me. I wanted to fucking do this for myself! I wanted to pay my way through school and have something to be proud of at the end of it. Something I did for me. Bryce was relentless.
