“Wanna go home?” she screamed over the music.
I frowned, feeling the three shots of tequila burn though my stomach and right into my soul. “Not ready for that either.”
Angela knew Bryce was abusive, but I didn’t go into detail. Same with Ethan. I didn’t tell either of them anything that would make them look on me with any more pity.
“Dance with me, then!” Angela smiled, pulling me onto the dance floor and holding my arms up in the air, twirling beneath them.
I tipped my head back and laughed. Angela was what I needed. Not some new guy, or an old guy, or any guy. I just needed to have fun with my friend. We danced for a bit before I started to feel dizzy and fell over.
Angela gave me a mom look. “How many shots did you take?”
I held up four fingers, but then pulled one down before getting confused and putting it up again. Angela grinned. “Okay, beautiful, it’s time to go home. Tequila is how I got pregnant. We don’t want none of that for you.”
I just nodded, too far in my dizzy world to put up an argument. When Angela called the Uber and gave the driver her address, I corrected her. “No, I want to see Ethan,” I mumbled. Thinking of that big tattooed teddy bear made me feel safe. I knew he would stay up and worry about me if I didn’t come home or text him, and I wanted to see him. I had to tell him something.
She raised an eyebrow. “You sure?”
I nodded. “Five hundred-percent.” My words were slurred so I threw in a military salute for good measure.
Ten minutes later we were pulling up to the shop. A shirtless Ethan stood outside with his hands in his pockets.
“I texted him,” Angela told me.
I was so tired, I just wanted to curl up on Ethan’s chest and sleep forever. But I couldn’t because that’s all I’d ever be ready for. I’d never be able to take it, whatever this was, to the next level. I wasn’t ready and he’d get sick of waiting.
When Ethan opened my side of the Uber, I stumbled out and nearly face-planted. He caught me, his hands wrapping around my hips to steady me.
“Whoa.” His voice was deep and husky.
“She’s a bit … keep an eye on her. I’ve gotta go relieve my kid's sitter.” Angela cleared her throat.
“I will. Thank you, Angela.” Ethan shut the door and the Uber drove off.
“Love you, Ang!” I shouted as the car drove off, laughter bubbling up in my chest.
“Okay, Hailey, let’s get you to bed.” He led me into the shop and locked the doors behind him.
“Do you feel sick? Do you want some water?” he asked as I stumbled my way through the shop floor, stepping over tools and wheels and bike parts. I stopped suddenly and spun around to face him.
“Don’t do that, okay.” I put my hand out on his chest. “Don’t be so nice to me.”
He frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”
My hand was still on his chest and my emotions were pinging inside of me like a pinball machine. “I tried to kiss another guy tonight. To see if I was ready.” His eyes flashed cobalt blue, the veins in his neck protruding. “And when he got close enough, I froze like a rabbit about to be eaten by her prey.”
A whimper escaped me and Ethan’s hand came up to lace through mine.
“He broke me, Ethan. He broke me for every other guy.” Tears streamed down my face as the tequila danced around my body like a squirrel at a rave. I was going to regret this shit tomorrow.
Ethan stepped closer to me, pressing his body against mine. He bent into a squat and hooked his arms under me, pulling me to his chest. My heels slipped off as he carried me up the stairs.
“You’re not broken, you just haven’t finished putting yourself back together yet.” His breath tickled my neck as I snuggled closer to his chest.
I spoke my deepest fear aloud. “What if I can’t? What if his power over me is too strong?”
Ethan’s fingers came up to stroke my forehead as he pulled hair away from my face. “You’re the one with all the power. You just haven’t realized it yet.”
Sleep was pulling at my limbs, and the spins had me inside of a washing machine. “What if it takes too long?” I mumbled. “And by then you won’t want me anymore.”
