Gavin reached up and caressed my cheek.‘You’re going to be fine,’he said and his words had the hairs standing upon my arms.
‘And you? Are you going to be fine?’I hadn’t wanted to probe earlier andbetray Gavin’s trust after he opened the bond but I did now. The second Idelved deeper into what Gavin was thinking or feeling, he clamped the bond downtight.
I gasped in shock so loud that Avery andJaxon turned to look at me. He was hiding something from me. Something big.
“Let’s go find Nahuel,” Gavin told me andled me outside as I numbly followed him.
I hadn’t known Gavin long, a few months,and that sounded silly when you thought about it. But he was my soulmate I hadno doubt. When wolves finally find their mate, something clicks like a puzzlepiece and if they die or are separated for too long, it feels like they die alittle inside each day without them. The thought of Gavin dying at the tenderage of twenty and leaving me to live out centuries without him … It made meshut down. I couldn’t even process it. He was my person, my other half, and Iwasn’t going to lose him.
We were cutting across the green mossygrass in search of Nahuel’s tent when I yanked on Gavin’s hand hard so he wasforced to stop and turn back and look at me.
“You’re not going anywhere. You understandme?” I half growled, unable to keep the bear out of my voice. If he thought hewas dying or sacrificing himself for me, he had another thing coming.
Gavin gave me a half smile that didn’treach his eyes and leaned forward to kiss my lips. When he pulled away hepinned me with a loving gaze, caressing each of my features with his eyes. Asif taking in my face for the last time. Then he turned away and kept walking insearch of Nahuel.
Shit.I had a very bad feeling about this.
We found Nahuel by the edge of the water.He was sitting crossed-legged, his toes barely touching the water’s edge. Hishands were open, palms up, and his shockingly white hair lay down his back likea silk sheet.
I was about to say his name when Gavinspoke. “Grandfather?”
My eyes widened, my mouth popping open alittle in shock. What did Gavin just call him?
Nahuel slowly craned his head over tolook at Gavin. His eyes slightly damp with emotion.
“Yes, grandson.” Nahuel’s voice cracked.
Gavin was left at an orphanage, raised asa human and got scared when he started getting sick from not honoring hissupernatural shaman powers. Internally he blamed Nahuel for not looking for himharder as an infant, not saving him from all that grief. But something musthave shifted in my mate because now it was as if nothing ill was between them.
It hit me then. Gavin thought he wasgoing to die. It would be the only reason he would try to make amends withNahuel so quickly, without so much as a conversation about the issuessurrounding his birth. My throat closed with emotion and I wasn’t sure I couldstand here, that I could bear to even think of this one second longer.
“I’m going for a run. I need some time tothink,” I blurted out and took off running.
“Anya!” Gavin screamed but I glanced backand saw Nahuel reach out and grab his arm to keep him there. Good. I needed tobe alone. He was only making it worse with his silence, with this clamped downbond.
I turned facing forward, and ran. I ranso hard it made my knees ache. Tears pricked my eyes as my feet pounded theforest floor as I wracked my brain sifting through my conversation with Mama.Trying to remember if she had told me anything about Gavin which may havehinted at his death. I couldn’t think of anything other than her warning thatGavin’s life path was full of darkness. What the hell did that even mean? Now Iwas cursing myself for not asking Mama more questions. I asked about my parentsand she said they will live long and happy lives. Why didn’t I ask about Gavin?I plowed through two trees and over a fallen log, letting a human scream offrustration tear from the throat. Running was therapy to shifters. We needed itto burn off all of the pent-up energy that we accumulated between shifts.
Part of me wanted to shift to my bear,part of me didn’t. I was confused and hurt. I tried to take deep breaths and gowithin like Nahuel taught me. For a small moment, there was a peace there, Ifelt connected to everything. I felt the other light anchors and it spread atingly feeling throughout my body that reminded me of being with Lina, but as Iwas making my way to a deserted part of the island, my thoughts again turned tomy mate. To this god-awful feeling I had that something horribly wrong wasgoing to happen and that there was nothing I could do about it. As I turned thecorner and came upon the creek, I saw my mother kneeled in front of the creek,head bowed in prayer. My mother was spiritual but she didn’t pray.
I skidded to a stop and her bodystiffened. Normally I couldn’t sneak up on her like that, she must have beenreally distracted. She lifted her head, not yet turning to face me and wipedher eyes. She had been crying. What the?
“Anya,” she said in that tone that Iseldom heard. It was the same tone she used to tell me my pet goldfish haddied.
“What’s going on, Mom? Why aren’t youwith Dad getting that sick lady from the hospital?” Did my mother knowsomething was happening? She had visions and she might have seen somethingawful.
She turned to face me and sighed. Hereyes were bright red from crying and it terrified me. My mother wasn’t an easycrier. “I was needed here,” she said, opening her arms and I fell into them asa sob escaped my throat. My chest heaved as the cries worked through me. Sheknew. She knew something was going on with Gavin and me. When I could finallyspeak, I pulled back and told her everything.
“My whole life I felt like I had to livein your shadow and be some great Matefinder. Then Gavin comes along and hetakes it from me. At first, I felt empty. Pissed even. But then I got this newpurpose and my bear.”
My mom just nodded as I continued.
“But now Lina is dead and I’ve got thishuge burden that I’m not sure I can carry and I think Gavin and I are sickagain. He’s shut me out of our bond and is ignoring me. Keeping things from me.I think he’s going to die, Mom. I think this damned evil Skin Walker is goingto kill him or infect him with evil or something. Tell me he’s not going todie! My mate. The only person who I feel truly understands me.” The infectionof evil I could handle. I could bring him back from that, but I couldn’t raisethe dead.
At that last line, tears leaked from mymom’s eyes. “Oh, honey. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with all of this. Ididn’t know you were feeling sick again. I don’t know everything. I wish I hadall of the answers, but I will tell you what I do know. I shouldn’t but Iwill.”
Finally. Someone was going to give it to mestraight. My mom plopped down right on the damp forest floor sitting crossed-leggedas if what she would say was going to be so bad we would both need to besitting. With a shaky breath, I sat across from her. When she didn’t speak Idared to ask again. “Is Gavin going to die?” She’d clearly had a vision and Ineeded to know every detail right now or I would go crazy.
My mom reached out and grasped both of myhands. “I don’t know but someone will. I keep seeing two futures. One in whichmy daughter buries her mate and one in which your mate buries his grandfather.”
