“Tell me!” I screamed and that’s when I felt it, what was off, what was missing. A wail escaped my throat as Gavin fully shifted into a wolf in front of me.
My wolf was gone. Gavin stole her. I clutched at my chest as if that would could bring her back, put her back inside my heart where she had always been.
“Noooo!” I screamed as sobs racked my body and I stood there staring at MY wolf. My beautiful white wolf with black socks and a black dot on the tail. Mine. But his wolf was slightly bigger, a bit thicker fur and fiercer looking. He had the same markings, he was … he was a wolf and I was … nothing.
Jaxon pulled me into his chest as I cried. I mourned my wolf part of soul. My beautiful, bad-ass, instinctive, sweet wolf.
“Dad can’t reach you. He said it feels like you died,” Jaxon murmured.
I wiped my tears and looked again at Gavin wearing my wolf. “I did.” I breathed. This was hands down the most awful feeling in the world.
Lina approached me cautiously. “It’s time to be reborn. Before it’s too late. The fever will try to take you now.”
Jaxon growled, low and husky. It gave me chills. “You’re sending my sister into the woods with no food, no water, and now no wolf!”
Lina looked fierce then. “Spirit will sustain her until she can find her power. Have faith.”
Jaxon sidestepped me and advanced on Lina, glaring her down.
“How can you be sure?” Jaxon’s neck veins were bulging and he was sooo channeling my dad right now. Mom, too.
Lina’s features softened then. “Because I did it, too. We all have.” She gestured to the warriors that had awoken and were now suiting up. “I was thirteen, knew nothing of life and what my path would be. I found it out there, away from man.” She gestured to the thick woods that surrounded the lush green property.
Jaxon wasn’t backing down. “Why my sister? Isn’t this Gavin’s journey?”
Gavin, in wolf form, head hung low, walked over to rest at my feet. He was ashamed, I felt it through the bond, guilt ridden.
Nahuel spoke to Jaxon as I continued to stand there in shock. “They are Perfect Mates, agreed to take on each other’s burdens long before their bodies were conceived here on Earth. His path has now become her path.”
Whoa, again with the heavy. I squatted down finally and stared my wolf – Gavin’s wolf – in the eye. I don’t know how the hell this was possible; how I could be wolfless and … now … human? No, I felt my magic coursing inside of me, but I … I wasn’t a werewolf. Just a muted half witch with a gaping hole inside of my soul. I couldn’t feel the pack or my father or Avery or anyone. Oh God, I felt sick to my stomach at the thought. I reached out and stroked Gavin’s fur. It brought me a small comfort but the idea that I couldn’t shift, that my wolf was gone … it was maddening.
Gavin whined.‘I’m sorry. I can’t control it. It just happened. It took over.’
Then he opened himself fully using our matebond and I was flooded with feelings and images he had been holding back ever since he got word last night about his lineage. He had been enraged, scared, but now … he was complete, excited. He had felt empty his whole life and now, after stealing my wolf, his soul was complete. He was whole and I was the one left feeling empty.
Lina spoke to Jax now. “It’s old magic. Perfect Mates. Light Keeper and Matefinder. Who knows what they are capable of?” Lina exclaimed.
Jaxon still seemed disturbed. “So he’s a wolf and she’s–”
Lina straightened her posture and nodded to Nahuel who handed her a smoking sage bundle. “She needs to find her new form. Now.”
I swayed with the fever as sweat broke out onto my forehead. It was so much more intense now that I was a weak human. Oh God, if I was injured, I wouldn’t regenerate like a werewolf.
I gave Gavin one last pat and stood. My stomach was eating itself I was so damn hungry. The lingering smell of bacon was seriously fricken torture. I eyed everyone suspiciously knowing that they had awoken early and eaten without me. The sage smoke danced around me, skimming my skin and swirling about my body. I took a deep cleansing breath and searched for my pack bonds. I felt Jaxon, my twin; Gavin, my mate, but everyone else was static, muffled … lost. I wanted to cry but there was no room for weakness now.
“I’m ready.” I made sure my voice didn’t waver.
Suddenly, the warriors began to drum heavily and something stirred deep within me, something that had been there all along but I had never been able to put a name to. A deep yearning for my sense of purpose. I had grown up living my whole life in my mother’s shadow, the Matefinder. I needed to find my own path and now I would. If I could survive.
Lina walked over to where I stood and met my eyes. There was a warm kindness in her strong gaze that I never noticed before. She placed one hand over my heart and her other hand over her own heart. “Sister, I lend you my courage for your journey. Find your power with grace and ease.”
Warmth trickled through my limbs and tears sprung in my eyes as some sort of connection formed in me; a connection that linked Lina to me, like a pack. Lina, I could now see, was full of so much love. I nodded.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Nahuel stood before me then, seeming mildly anxious but also full of pride. He placed a hand on my chest as Lina had done and one on his own. “Daughter, I lend you my wisdom for your journey, may it guide you on your path.” Electric jolts danced up my spine and I gasped as my fever flared to life. But again I felt some sort of pack type of connection to Nahuel.
Jaxon frowned, but I breathed through it and pushed it down, standing tall and strong. Next, each warrior came to place their hand on my chest, each one lent me their strength and with each one I felt stronger. The fever faded the slightest bit.
