“How many weeks along . . .”
“Maybe ten.” She pauses, her eyes not moving from my face. “You know there’s no way I’d be telling you this if there was a chance some other man was responsible, right?” Her delivery is, well, challenging.
“Understood.”
“But I guess you’ve only got my word for it right now.”
“Your word is enough, Ryan.”
She gives a breath that seems to lower her shoulders. “I guess I’ll need to see a doctor to be sure of the exact timeline,” she says, softer now. “I don’t know much about pregnancy.”
“Me either.” I find myself wondering exactly how effective home pregnancy tests are as I swallow over the large ball of words lodged in my throat. How the fuck? What the fuck? When the ...well, maybe not when. “Does that mean you’re ...” I rub a finger along my nose as my gaze inadvertently dips to her flat stomach. “That you want to keep it?”
“Yeah.” She gives a firm nod. “Yeah, I do.”
That feels ... not wrong. I mean, it’s terrifying, but also—
I snap back to the moment when I realize Ryan is still speaking.
“... it’s kind of crazy, and all kinds of frightening, but I’ll cash in some of my investments when I get back to the States. Get a house or an apartment, depending on where I decide to set up home. We’ll be okay.”
“Wait.” I hold up my hand. “Rewind a bit? Say that again ... would you?”
“When I get back to the States?”
“Yes. Yeah. You’re going back?” Ice drops into my chest, cooling a tentative warmth.Huh.“But why?”
“Rewind further?” Her brow quirks. “I got let go this morning. Fired, to be more precise.”
“Shit.” But she can’t go back—not when I’ve just found her.
She clears her throat a little. “That about covers it.”
“What for? I mean, what reason did they give?”
“Performance issues, which is bullshit. I hadn’t been there long enough to make a difference either way.”
My heart sinks. Could I be responsible for this after yesterday? The meeting was something I actioned, and Fin said the whole thing went pretty much tits up after ...yeah, that. After we left.
“But the market is kinda volatile at the moment,” Ryan carries on, unaware of my disquiet. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you the market dictates everything in this business. But I don’t know,” she adds, her tone weary. “Maybe I didn’t make a difference fast enough. Maybe my face didn’t fit. Maybe they decided someone’s nephew could do the job.”
“Yeah, that happens.”
“All this to say I really don’t know. Not that it matters. I was within my probation period, so it is what it is.”
“You’re taking this very calmly.”
“I know.” Her mouth tips humorously. “My life is about to implode—might as well push the nuclear button.”
“Is that why—” I halt, not sure I want the answer. Not sure I have a right to the question either.
“Why I’m going ahead with things?”
Things. Pregnancy. Parenthood. Life-altering decisions.
“I’m not judging,” I add quickly. “I just remember your career means a lot to you.”
She pauses before answering. And when she does, it’s without an ounce of hostility. “The short answer is no.” Another pause as I watch thoughts flicker to life on her face before fading away. “I guess I just knew. The minute shock wore off, at least. Maybe it’s my age.” She gives a quick smile, and I bite my tongue to keep from asking. “I’m thirty-five,” she says anyway.
