“I wasn’t gonna! I wouldn’t dream of saying something like ... the sight of you made her ill.”
“Grand. Thanks for not mentioning it.” I cross the office, and at the alcove at the side of the Adam fireplace, I open the concealed fridge and pull out a bottle of water.
“Any idea what you’ll say?”
“I’ll just play it by ear,” I say, cracking the seal on the lid. “Want one?”
He holds up his hand:No thanks. “You think that’s the best move?”
“Well,” I say, the bottle hovering at my lips. “I could prepare a PowerPoint.”
“Not a bad idea,” he says with a chuckle. “You could include hearts and flowers.”
“Piss off.”
“Pissing off,” he says, straightening. “Oh, we had the transport police yesterday.”
I frown. “Was it about the CCTV footage?” That I no longer require.
“No. They wanted money. Jesus, Matt. Is that what it costs for jumping the ticket barrier these days?”
“Nah, that was an on-the-spot fine of fifty quid. The rest is a donation to their charitable fund because I was ... just because.” Just because I’d seen her again. Just because there was a chance I might get to put this right. High on exhilaration and excitement, I’d decided I might just be lucky enough to have her in my life.
And now . . .
Now lucky is the least of what I feel.
Chapter 17
Ryan
I see him before he sees me. I watch him from the back of the bougie wine bar as he steps in from the rain, slicking his hand through his wet hair.
When I’m done.I give a little huff. My reality is so different since I said that this morning, allfuck off and dievibes. I wasn’t ready to speak to him then, and I’m even less ready now. But there are things in life you have no control over, no matter how hard you try.
Point number one: my news. The potential to rock both of our worlds.
Point number two: me camped out in this wine bar since midmorning, after giving Matt the impression he’d be waiting on me way after office hours.
To be fair, that was the plan. Hell hath no fury like a woman, if not scorned, then made to feel less than.On several fronts,I think as my throat moves with a deep swallow.
As far as new starts and new years go, this one sucks.
Matt’s expression changes with the tilt of his lips, and he lifts his hand in a tentative wave.Like I wasn’t a colossal bitch to him this morning.Not that he didn’t deserve it. And I deserve an explanation.The explanation I told myself I didn’t need.But thatwas before. And now I’m living a whole new reality. Even if what happened in October has suddenly shuffled lower on my shit list.
He makes his way toward me, unwinding a blue woolen scarf from his neck.
“Hey,” he says, reaching the edge of the booth of amber velvet. It’sUshaped and deep, and I’ve chosen to sit here for privacy. I also planned to arrive early to gain the high ground. I just hadn’t planned to be here most of the day.
I’m sitting in the deepest part of the booth. The power spot, I guess. I decided it wouldn’t do to sit opposite him.Getting lost in those eyes. Being tempted by the tiniest quirk of his smile.But mostly, I’m not sure I want to see what’s on his face as I break the news.
But I couldn’t keep it to myself. He has the right to know, though I tried to persuade myself otherwise.
“Hi.” I resist the urge to stick my finger into my hair to loosen this bun. My head is thundering, the thing having pulled tighter and tighter as the day passed. But at least I’m no longer wearing dark glasses like a desperate-to-be-seen C-list celebrity. Someone ought to make a concealer for swollen, cried-out eyes. They could patent it and make a fortune.
“Can I get you another drink?” he asks with fake cheer.
I give a short shake of my head.Ow.“You go on ahead, though.” I tighten my hand around my cup of tea, my other gripping my coat under the table as though I’m ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.
