“Anything. Tell me anything.”
My eyes slide over his shoulder to Josh, one of the back-office people, leaving the dance floor and walking our way. “Rumor has it that one of the techs is on OnlyFans.”
Matt gives a chuckle.
“But that’s not the juicy part. He has a wife and three kids, but his followers are predominantly male, if you know what I mean.”
“Tell me something else. Something about you.”
“Matt, we don’t need to—this is just a one-night thing.”
A very shapely eyebrow (for a man) lifts like a taunt.
“That’snotwhat I meant.”
That’s what they all say,his dark laughter seems to suggest.
“Can you, like, not behave?” I demand a little too delightedly.
“See ...” He slips his hand between his legs to pull his chair closer, as though he has a secret to share. “I can behave,” he says, his eyes devouring me. “But Nate from Nine Inch Males? Sadly, he doesn’t know how to behave in public.”
“Nine Inch—” is as far as I get before I laugh. Part chortle, part snort. I do a bad job of smothering the heinous sound with my hand. “Nine Inch what?” I manage eventually.
“Males.” I swear his taunting tone reverberates right through to my bones. “It’s what I’d call my escort agency. If Ihadan escort agency.”
“Oh, my God, please don’t say that in here. Even if in some weird, alternate universe it might help put those knuckleheads in their place.”Or one of them, at least.
“Help how?”
“Doesn’t matter.” I glance over his shoulder at the dance floor again. Granted, I can’t see the idiots I work with, but they’re probably propping up the bar.Maybe doing lines in the bathroom,I think uncharitably. Vices that almost come with the job.
“Doesn’t matter?” he repeats, then begins to make chicken noises.
“Stop that,” I say. I chuckle.
“Baaawk, bawk, bawk.” Matt begins to move his arms like wings.
“Okay!” I splutter, still laughing at his impression. “I just meant that a man who’s paid to ... you know. He’d likely be packing.” Obviously, I can’t look at him as I say this.
“Sounds like you’re asking a question.”
“What?” I glance his way and blink.I mean, if you’re offering.“No. Not at all. I was generalizing.” Shit.Shit!What possessed me to say that? “Look, before I hired Cuddle Carl, I’d found myself on a couple of escort sites. And it just made me think. Premium rates must mean a premium service.”
“So do you think escorts are paid by the inch?”
“No!” I splutter. Laugh. Then coax my eyebrows from my hairline. “You said nine-inch—can we just change the tone of conversation, please?”
“By the inch,” he repeats, meditatively. “That is a question I’ve never thought to think, let alone seek the answer to.”
“Maybe Nate from Nine Inch Males ought to know. For market research.”
He taps a finger to his lips as though in thought. “Getting back to your idea,” he says, smacking his arm down like an elephant’s trunk. “I’m not at all sure slapping my massive man meat on the tabletop, at a wedding, is the way to go.”
“Massive?”Help!
Almost ponderingly, he adds. “Maybe that’s why I get paid the big bucks.”
“Well, I’m happy for you,” I say, struggling to keep it together while ignoring all the things.All the things running through my head as well as flickering in my panties.“And while you might be right, I’d still love to see their faces. It would seriously mess with their heads.” Both of their heads, I think with a snicker. Along with the pressures of the job, the liquor drunk, and the coke vacuumed, I wouldn’t be surprised to find one or two already have issues getting it up.
