Matt: And it’s your home. Plus, they’re not coming to visit me. Not really.
Me: They know our situation, right?
Matt: I told them. I’m not sure it makes much sense to them, but when they’re here, it will.
I’m not sure it makes much sense to me sometimes. It makes brain-based sense, at least. The heart and the libido are other matters entirely.
Matt: I did wonder how long it would take the aul wan to check her message bank.
Me: The aul what?
Matt: Aul wan is how we refer to our mother in the Irish vernacular.
Me: Old one, I’m guessing?
Matt: You guessed right.
Me: I also guess you don’t call your mother that to her face.
Matt: I would never say such a thing in her hearing. Not without expecting a slap around the ear.
Me: You’re never too big for one of those.
Matt: Never too big and never too old, apparently. Also, I told my siblings about us.
Us.So many thoughts and feelings and meanings in that tiny word. So much confusion. Opportunity.Temptation.
Me: How did that go?
Matt: Fine. Nothing to report. I expect we won’t see them until after the baby is born.
Me: Okay.
Matt: Seb has uni, supposedly. It’s the middle of the football season for Hugo. And the twins, Lucía and Lola, are currently working their way around Australia.
Me: You didn’t tell me they were twins. Wow, biological bullet dodged!
Matt: Our hypothetical twins would be nothing like those hellions. But the longer that lot stay away, the better. They’re like a swarm of locusts. They fly in. Consume all the beer and food in the house, and piss off again before you know where you are.
Me: Your siblings or your mom and dad?
Matt: Ryan made a funny.
Me: Hey, so, what do you call your dad?
Matt: Antonio, when he’s not listening. Otherwise, aul fella. The pair is also referred to as ma and da. And collectively as the aul wans.
Me: Just so you know, this child will not be referring to me as an aul wan or ma. Maaaaaaaa! Sounds like a sheep.
Matt: We’ll be Mammy & Daddy? Or Mommy in your speak.
That sounds so weird. And also kind of nice.
Matt: Anyway, I’ve told Letty she can unmuzzle Clo now.
Me: I do hope you meant that metaphorically.
Two minutes later my phone buzzes again.
