“Until I walk out of her life in twelve months?”
I make a gesture of futility. I know what’s coming next.
“See,thisis what I have a problem with,” she says, poking her finger in the air like a bit-part gangster with a gun. “This is what you haven’t thought through. You can’t just waltz in and out of a child’s life, not without causing them some form of damage.”
“You don’t have to disappear. I’m sure we’ll be firm friends by then.”
“Have you ever had a relationship?” she asks, amused.
“Have you?”
Her amusement fades like a light turned down. I’m not sure what to make of this reaction. The strength of it, at least.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’m friends with all my exes.”
Her head rears back a little as though this doesn’t compute. “Oh God.” Her shoulders sag. “You’re the golden handshake type.”
“Sorry?”
“You pay your girlfriends off to make sure they toddle off without any fuss,” she says, miming a walk with her fingers.
“That’s not it.” My tone is gruff because she’s hit a raw nerve. I am that guy. I’d just never stopped to examine it. “You letme worry about after,” I grate out. I hadn’t thought about the future on account of being too fucking busy trying to control the present.
“Fine, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Because that plan always works.”
“What?”
“To fail to prepare is to prepare to fail.”
“Thank you for thatveryuseful aphorism.” And your vote of confidence.
“You’re welcome.” She stretches out her legs, crossing them at the ankle. “Here’s another for you. Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
“That also works for me.”
“I was once given a cactus for a housewarming gift. You know, a cactus? A thing that survives in the desert?”
“I know what a cactus is.”
“Let me tell you, it didnotsurvive in my living room. I’ll help you. I’ll lie to the court. But I can’t parent a child, if that’s what you’re talking about.”
“No one is asking you to.”
She angles her gaze my way, her expression hard. “What I mean is, Ican’tdo any of this if it’s not the right thing for her. No matter how much money is involved.” She doesn’t addyou idiot, but her tone fills in the blanks.
I could point out that, for a marriage just two days old, she’s already told so many lies. That she’s in too deep already. But I don’t point.
Instead, I feel grateful. I guess I’d expected a much different conversation.
“So what’s the plan?” Lavender unclips her seat belt, then slumps back in the seat.
“Pack a bag.” I glance out of the window and up at the red brick building. There’s a light on the top floor.Fuck.It seems Tod has even less smarts than I’d credited him with. Or maybe he just has fewer options. “Just the things you need. I’ll get a team in to bring the rest.”
“What? No. I’ll just get stuff as and when.”
“As and when what?”
“As and when I need them. It’s not like I won’t be setting foot in the place for a year. I’ll have to come back occasionally.”
