‘That’s not what happened,’ I almost splutter.
‘You were pretty horrified.’
‘On your behalf! Can you imagine—really? A lunch more awkward was probably never had! I’m sure there were a hundred places you’d have rather been. Including the dentist’s chair. Having a root canal.’
‘If I dig out a magnifying glass, would I find an apology somewhere it that?’
My cheeks begin to sting. I totally misread the situation—I thought I was helping him. Or was I helping me? Avoiding the situation. Escaping? One or all of those things?
‘Archer, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt your feelings like that.’
‘That might be a little strong,’ he mutters, like he’s embarrassed to have brought it up. ‘But this bloke, Barney. You were about to say something about him.’
‘Barney. Yes, well, William really. He’s wants to take me out next time he’s in London.’
‘Right.’ His brows lower, his jaw tightening. ‘I fail to see what that has to do with you being out with that fucking Muppet earlier tonight.’
‘This is what I’ve been trying to tell you.’ Holy mother of pearl, this calls for some big girl knicker wearing. ‘I went onto E-Volve to find someone to date. For practice.’
‘You want to practice dating for this Barney? The blond? Because you don’t have a lot of experience with men?’
‘Yes,’ I answer simply, relieved he seems to be getting it. Finally!
‘That’s fucking ludicrous. You’re going to fuck a load of men to geta bit of experience?’ It’s almost like he puts air quotes around the words. ‘Is that what you’re doing here? Is that why you’ve fucked me?’
‘Do you want a punch? Because you’re going the right way about getting one.’
I know violence is never the answer but in light of what he just said, I think there are plenty of women who wouldn’t have even given him the option.
‘I’ve just repeated what you said—exactly what you said.’
‘No, you twisted it into something dirty!’ I swing my legs out of the bed, my fingers clutching the sheet to my chest as my feet hit the ground with athud. I get three steps before Archer’s grip on the linens pulls me to a stop, yanking me back a couple of steps.
‘Where do you think you’re going?’
‘Home,’ I yell, trying to pull the sheet from his grip.Oh, fuck it!I let it fall. It’s not like this is anything he hasn’t already seen.Seen. Touched. Owned. Just like his gaze is doing now as I stomp around the bedroom, snatching up my clothes. Pants. Bra. Knickers, or what used to pass for them. The rest of my clothes under my arms, I shake them out, angrily trying to untangle them.
‘Come back to bed, Heather.’
‘Fuck off.’
‘Heather, please. I’m not going to let you leave like this.’ He swings his long legs out of the bed, slipping on a pair of Hugo Boss boxer briefs as I try not to watch. Elvis’s nails tap against the wooden floor as his master makes his way over to me, taking the balled clothes from under my arm, throwing them in the direction of the bed. I don’t fight him for them or offer to punch him again because it takes everything I have in me not to give into tears. Not to crumble in front of him.
Why can’t he be the one who wants me? Truly wants me?
Silently, he takes my knickers from my hand, unravelling with more finesse that I can currently command. Then, in a manner so gentle he presses his knee to the rug, holding them out for me to step into.
‘In you hop.’
I open my mouth, not quite sure what I’m about to say, when something wet and cold touches my bottom, causing me to swing around.
‘Ew, Elvis! Get off!’ I almost stumble, my arm on Archer’s broad shoulder the only thing keeping me upright.
‘It’s like I said. Nothing is sacred in this house.’
It’s hard to remain dignified when your bottom is bare and your lady bits are in the face of the man who. .. I suppose he just had his face in them anyway. But I’m not about to let his dog become on more intimate terms with any of me. So I give in, acquiesce, use Archer’s shoulder as I step into my unmentionables, further allowing him to pull them slowly up my legs.
‘Well, that was strangely erotic,’ he murmurs, his thumbs brushing my hipbones. ‘No thanks to the mutt.’ He pushes to a stand, sliding his hands though my hair as he tilts my face. ‘You like this Barney, then?’
