‘Of course you are. And we love you for your little idiosyncrasies.’
‘Says the woman who was dumped by a man with a jaw like a bulldog.’
‘Ladies, ladies,’ Daisy placates.
‘I’d say ginger beard is a definite maybe.’ Vee, as usual, is like a dog with a bone. ‘He has such beautiful manners plus, as an artist, he’s bound to be dirt poor.’
‘Hence the incentive of a free bar, not the incentive of a night with me.’
‘But you’re not offering him a night with you, are you?’
‘Oh, but that’s an idea,’ Vivi adds quite suddenly. ‘You could book an escort.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ My answer hits the air so fast, it’s almost one word.
‘But it’s a brilliant idea! Hot, handsome, attentive, andallbusiness. Whatever you want that business to be.’
‘I wouldn’t pay for that kind of business,’ I answer primly. ‘Not that I’d judge anyone else for doing so.’
‘Then it looks like you’re stuck with ginger beard, unless you have a straight acting gay best friend I don’t know about?’
‘All my friends are your friends,’ I bemoan, pulling my hands from both of theirs. I reach for the wine bottle, tipping the last few drops into my glass. Sadly, there’s so little, it’s not worth drinking. ‘Oh, what about the hottie at the coffee shop? The one who flirted with Joe?’
‘Which one?’ Daisy’s shoulders stiffen. As if her fiancé would ever be interested in anyone but her, let alone a penis-owning someone.
‘The gorgeous one—the blond. Come on, Vee, you spend almost as much time there as you do at work.’
‘That’s because the men behind that counter are the only men in my life who can anticipate my needs before I’ve opened my mouth.’
‘Because they sort of wank the steaming spout after every cup? Well, they do. Haven’t you noticed what they do with the cloth?’
‘Oh, God, you should go into comedy.’
‘Well, if that’s not what you meant, you’ve lost me.’
If only real life was like that sometimes.
‘I meant because the minute I walk into the place, one of them will say,I know exactly what you want.’ She sighs. ‘They say it so convincingly, too. God, that’s sad, isn’t it?’
‘No, that’s an indication that you spend too much time in there. Maybe if you drank less coffee, you’d have time to stop treating the men you date like speed dating contestants.’
‘You know my feeling on chemistry. If it’s not there, it’s not there. Why suffer through a whole evening if you know there’s no spark before your coffee has even cooled?’
‘What if chemistry takes more than fifteen minutes to reveal itself? You’ve been on a dozen dates this month and not one of them have lasted beyond the fifteen-minute mark.’
‘Because they weren’t worth the effort. No spark means no time invested.’
‘Well, whatever. I’m about to go and invest in another round of drinks.’
‘The birthday girl doesnotpay,’ Vee says as I stand. ‘I’ll come with you.’
2
Heather
We makeour way from the secluded corner our table is in past tables of alcohol-infused patrons, clinking glasses, and happy hour revellers, through an archway and into the throng of the main bar.
‘God, it’s loud in here.’
