‘It was probably in response to being told I can’t do my job properly because I’m not in a relationship.’
‘Who said that?’ Vivi’s mirth is cut off in an instant, her spine suddenly ramrod straight.
‘Haydn. You remember Haydn, my condescending, slightly misogynistic, borderline sociopath of a boss?’
‘We’re not likely to forget, considering the amount you complain about him.’ With a telling glance, Vee reaches for her glass.
‘You’d complain too if you worked for him.’
‘No, I’d knee him in the nuts, right after I found myself a new job. But what has he got to do with this?’
‘Well, a few months ago, he was trying to mansplain my job to me. Again. Only on this occasion, he said my not being in a relationship was skewing my perspective.’
‘That doesn’t even make any sense. You run the social media for dating agencies, don’t you?’
‘Amongst others, but those are my two biggest accounts.’
‘And who better to understand the plight of the single person than a single person?’
‘You’d think. But according to him, my Instagram posts were unappealing to those looking for love. Too laddish and not romantic enough. He said that in order to understand the remits of my job, I’d benefit from the experience of having been admitted to the inner sanctum of the temple of the long-term relationship.’ Or something like that. He also made it sound like a club I’d never gain admittance to. And he did it in a meeting in front of the whole team. It wasn’t even my fault, but I wasn’t going to throw my assistant under the bus.
‘I’ve heard of being married to your work, but that’s ridiculous. What a tit. Actually, I take it back. Tits are at least useful, and they probably have more sense, despite being lumps of fatty tissue.’
‘Fatty tissue sounds like the contents of his head,’ I complain, the skin of my forehead puckering again. At this rate, I’ll need Botox before the year is up.
‘I hope you told him to go forth and multiply.’ Her gaze glides to our friend. ‘I hope she told him to fuck off,’ she qualifies for Daisy as though she doesn’t understand the language.
‘No, but I did tell him that not only was he wrong, but he was also out of line.’
‘That’s something, I suppose.’
‘And that if he continued to say such ridiculous, discriminatory things, I’d report him to HR.’
‘I should bloody well think so,’ Vee agrees imperially.
‘And then I told him that I did have a boyfriend, thank you very much, and that we’d been dating for several months, so not only were his opinions intolerant, but his hypothesis was also way off.’
‘Were you seeing anyone back then?’
I shake my head, perplexed by the doubt in Daisy’s tone. She knows I wasn’t. I haven’t dated anyone properly since we’ve been friends. Oh, there have been coffees and meetups, but nothing that’s lasted beyond a third date. I’m just fussy, according to my friends. But my issues run a little deeper than that, and those issue have become all-consuming since Haydn’s attack. I’d felt stripped bare, all my past and my problems available for everyone to gawk at.
‘Why on earth would you say you had a boyfriend?’ Despite my attempt at an explanation, Daisy still seems genuinely confused.
‘It just sort of slipped out.’ Palms in the air, I shrug. But my retort was my defence. A way not to feel like a freak in front of my peers as his accusation echoed in my head, twisting and turning until it became something else.
She doesn’t have a boyfriend.
She’s never had a boyfriend.
It’s because she’s unlovable.
‘Honestly, the words were out of my mouth before I’d even realised I’d said them. I don’t know who was more horrified, Haydn or me.’
‘Horrified that you had a boyfriend?’
‘I don’t know why. He just looked horrified.’ I had wondered since about his motives, wondered if he’s a gay man living in the closet because he’s as mean as can be to most of the women in the office, and worse still to me. Maybe he was upset that one more hetero normative male was off the market? I really don’t know. But I’m not thinking about him because, screw him.Figuratively at least.
‘And I suppose there will be people from work at this wedding?’
