We both turn to Heather’s pronouncement, who doesn’t have much of a filter, and though she often seems to say the first thing that comes into her head, there’s usually sense behind it. Sort of.
‘People who get pets; the pets turn into them or vice versa. I’m sure I read something in the newspaper about that. But not really, because people pick their animals based on a sense of familiarity. Same with cars and stuff. A man with a square jaw is more likely to choose a car with a brute fender. A girl with long curly hair will probably choose poodle or a Portuguese waterdog or something.’
‘Interesting.’ Or just plain off the wall.
‘Actually, come to think of it,’ Heather adds, tapping her pencil against her cheek, ‘I’m pretty sure the article drew parallels between how humans choose mates.’
‘It takes an evil smirk to know an evil smirk, then?’ I shoot Olivia a wink.
‘You’re saying I’m turning into Beckett?’
‘Maybe you saw the same qualities in him that you saw in yourself,’ suggests Heather.
‘I’m not morally bankrupt,’ she says with a snort. By her expression, she immediately regrets her response. But whether from calling him out, outing him as an evil villain, or the snort, it’s hard to tell. Maybe I have too much time on my hands today.
‘One man’s ruthlessness is what another woman calls commitment and drive. And as for choosing a mate solely on looks, you match him there, boss babe.’ As I make to move past her, I lick my index finger and mime a sizzle as I press it to her arm. ‘Smokin’!’
She’s gorgeous herself, but Beckett, her Richie-rich venture capitalist husband, is like the second hottest man I’ve ever met. Hot neighbour dude being the first.
I wonder what he does for a living?I banish the thought immediately because the office is not the place for thoughts of him.
‘Olivia?’
‘Yes, Jorge?’ Her back to him, she rolls her eyes but fixes on a smile as she turns.
‘I’d like to have a word with you about the state of the staff fridge, if I may.’
Jorge stands at the other side of the office in his unironic grandad cardigan and suede beetle crushers. Hasn’t anyone told him men over thirty shouldn’t wear skinny jeans? Especially when they make him look like he’s left his butt at home? AStar Warsmug clasped to his chest, it’s almost as though he expects that the owner and director of our company is about to accompany him to the tiny kitchenette.
Honestly, he’s been a pain since I started here,thebiggest sourpuss, but since Olivia came back from the US and announced she’d married the man she’d previously tried to tell us she disliked, it’s like he’s sucked all the pleasure out of the office.
‘Maybe you can email me your concerns,’ she answers breezily. ‘I’ve got quite a full schedule today.’ Before he can answer, she whips back around to me, propping her hip against my desk. ‘Where are we at with the speed dating evening?’
‘Well, three of last year’sLust Islandcontestants have confirmed.’
‘I’m really not sold on their attendance.’ Her expression twists. ‘I know we’ve had this conversation before, but I really don’t think reality TV contestants bring the right feel.’
We’ve been going back and forth over this for weeks. I know what the problem is; she sees them as representative of all that’s wrong in the dating world. And maybe she’s right on some level.Lust Islandis a TV show where the contestants live in a bubble basically, isolated from the outside world. They arrive as couples but don’t always leave the island with the same person, often swapping or changing as partners are dumped and contestants are eliminated. But what Olivia seems to be missing is the fact that they then become public figures, and that our demographic is sort of obsessed with these semi-celebs. When the show is running, the ratings are huge. The world and his wife have a couple they’re rooting for and the contestant we love to hate. We become invested in their lives afterwards, and that’s why the application list to attend this event is huge.
‘But they’re all single and ready to mingle,’ I sing in response.
‘That’s not helping.’ Her brows draw in as she taps her phone against her chin. ‘We’re selling meaningful connections, not hook-ups and partner swaps they sell on the show.’
‘And as I’ve said, casual often leads to more, and sometimes very quickly.’
‘Don’t say it.’ She holds up a forestalling hand. ‘I know what you’re going to say, but my marriage isn’t anyone’s business but mine.’
‘And Beckett’s,’ I add. ‘And like it or not, the fact that you married him has been good for business. People are invested in your relationship, too.’
‘I just don’t get why.’
‘Does it matter? You’re not selling your soul. It’s just good business sense.’
‘Personally, I thinkLust Islandis a valid exploration of humanity.’
Olivia and I both turn to Heather, who raises her head from the study of her laptop.
‘I thought you enjoyed it because of all the hard, tanned, naked man chest?’
