I find myself voicing my thoughts. ‘What can be so awful that you feel you need to have a drink to be able to spit it out?’
‘Timing,’ he answers cryptically. ‘The timing is fucking awful.’
‘Okay, but I still don’t know what it is you’re trying to tell me.’ The restaurant doesn’t lend itself to romance, so does the stark setting have more to do with business? ‘Is it about Monday?’ I ask, suddenly panicked. ‘About my meeting?’ I know it’s humid this evening, but the weather has nothing to do with the trickle of sweat that’s broken out on my spine.
‘No,’ he answers immediately. ‘If there’s one thing that brings me comfort, it’s that you’ve gotten another meeting with Jones.’
‘I have you to thank for that.’
‘No, I got you in. The rest is on you. And you’re going to do amazing.’
‘Why do you sound like an elderly relative on his deathbed?’ I’d aimed this as a joke, but my answer sounds a little more like distress.
‘Ols,’ he says with a protracted sigh, ridiculously drawing out the shortening of my name. ‘I wish we’d gotten to this point before now.’
‘And what point would that be?’ I ask, leaning back in my chair as we both ignore the waiter hovering nearby, clearly not wanting to risk interrupting whatever this is.
‘The point where I’d envisioned enjoying dinner with you before taking you home and peeling you out of your clothes. I’ve wanted this, wanted you, for so long.’
‘I’ve been single. Most of the time.’ My laughter sounds bitter as I prepare for whatever letdown is coming my way. ‘Meanwhile, you’ve been busy.’ And no, that doesn’t sound jealous at all... ‘And then there was E-Volve, this pitch, and the help you’ve offered me. And we both agreed it would be a bad idea to mix business with pleasure.’
From my point of view, I need to know I did this on my own. It’s one thing for Luke to help me get through the door, but quite another if, somewhere down the line, his help gets misconstrued, and I end up looking like I succeeded because I got on my knees for him. Not that Luke would say such a thing. He’s far too honourable.
‘And now we’ll never get beyond a platonic kind of pleasure.’ He lifts his head, his expression baleful.
‘Oh. Okay.’ The tightness returns to my stomach, the confusion no doubt written in my expression because it’s not okay—not until I get an explanation, at the very least.
‘I really wish we hadn’t stuck to that rule.’ He chuckles again, and my frustration levels rise and peak.
‘Just... spit it out. Whatever it is. Whatever you have to say won’t change how I feel about you.’
‘I’m going to be a father.’
Oh... Thatdoeschange things.
My mouth opens, but I clamp it closed again before I can speak, digging my teeth into my lip against the torrent of words I can sense burbling.
My first reaction? How? I mean, not biologically, but what the fuck? We agreed we’d keep things purely platonic, but I didn’t for one second think that meant we should be screwing others.He wasn’t supposed to be like that.
‘I’m so, so sorry.’ This time, Luke reaches out for my hand. I let him take it as I stare down at his large one curled over mine, his thumb rubbing over my knuckles again and again as though my hand is cold to the touch. ‘Say something, Ollie.’
‘Congratulations.’ This is delivered more in the vein ofgo fuck yourselfas I pull my hand back, signalling for the waiter to order a large brandy. People drink brandy for shock, right? ‘Why did you wait until now to tell me?’What’s with the bait and switch?I want to ask him. ‘Are we here,’ I ask with a glance around the minimalist décor and decide it leans more towards sterile, ‘because you thought I’d flip out?’ Somewhere light and bright where any meltdown, breakdown, or hurling object could be seen? Possibly later reported to the police.
‘Of course not,’ he replies, looking genuinely hurt. For a moment, I feel like a colossal bitch, but a blindsided colossal bitch, all the same. ‘Although you do have a bit of a temper.’
‘What?’ I force my expression to relax, my next words a little quieter. ‘I mean, how could you say such a thing?’
‘Because I’ve seen it in action. Granted, not for a few years. But I remember that time at uni when you poured a pint of beer over the head of that kid in the Student’s Union bar.’
‘He was harassing one of my friends! Besides, that was a long time ago,’ I answer uncomfortably. ‘I’ve grown up lots since then.’
When I was younger, I literally used to see red. A mist of something would come over me, and I’d absolutely flip my lid. These days, I have a better hold on things. I choose not to allow people to yank my chain. And quite honestly, I think it must’ve had something to do with hormones. In short, I’m much calmer now. I even do yoga.
‘Anyway,’ he adds with a sigh. ‘I literally found out an hour ago and came straight here and ordered a double vodka. But what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t call and tell you over the phone.’
‘No, I suppose not,’ I respond, frowning.
It’s not like I’ve pinned all my romantic hopes on him, but it’s just that childhood birthday scenario all over again. And I was having such a good day. Not to mention looking forward to what this evening would bring. And my vibe ran out of charge last night. I must remember to look for the charger before crawling into bed. Isn’t that justtheworst timing?
