‘Isodon’t have anything nice to say to you at the minute. You brought me here under false pretences.’
‘I don’t believe that’s true.’
‘You lied to me about this whole thing,’ I retort, trying hard not to get emotional or overwrought. But how can I not be emotional when it feels like my life is unravelling? ‘You never once mentioned that we would have to have sex.’
‘Did you think we had to have sex in my car? Did I coerce you or lie to you?’
‘I’m not talking about that, not now. I’m talking about this,’ I say, stabbing the paper on the table in front. ‘Have you added this clause just because you want to fuck me?’
‘Yes. And no.’ He leans back in his chair, his expression a study of calm.
‘I really don’t understand.Youclimbed out of the car. We would’ve already had sex if not for you!’
‘Don’t do this,’ he says softly.
‘What? I should just let you do it to me? Let you fuck me—fuck me over—every chance you get?’
‘There’s no need for profanity.’ He sighs as though this topic bores him. ‘I’m not sure what you want me to say.’
‘I want the truth. Those things you said about Luke—were they true?’
‘Absolutely.’
‘So if I pick up my phone and call him, he’ll tell me the same?’
‘I’d assumed you would’ve already had that conversation with him.’ His reaction kind of throws me for a loop. Cool and calm and definitely calculated. ‘Though I expect he’d add a little creative spin.’
‘And what about dinner that night, when you just appeared behind me?’
‘A coincidence,’ he replies with a sigh. ‘I wasn’t following you. This hasn’t been some grand master plan. You really do overestimate me.’
‘I’m not sure that’s true. I just.. . I just don’t know what to think.’ Except I’m running out of options and beginning to doubt myself.
‘Do you want me to tell you I find you attractive? Because I do.’
‘That’s not what I’m asking. I don’t want adulation, and I don’t want lies. I have this whole ridiculous argument running though my head right now. Which came first?’ I laugh, but there’s no joy in the action. ‘Like the chicken and the egg. Do you want me because of what happened in the car, but only with your boundaries and provisos and addendums and stuff? Or was the dry humping some crazy audition or an interview; something to fit in with your plans?’
‘You’re painting all sorts of unsavoury pictures.’
‘Tell me which is right!’ I demand.
‘Does it matter?’
‘To me, it does. It matters a hell of a lot.’
‘I want to fuck you. I wanted you then, and I want you now. Does that make you happy? Soothe you? And yes, I want it all in a contract because I refuse to give you an excuse to back out.’
‘I’m not going to back out,’ I answer with a vehement growl because what choice do I have? The same choices as I had before. It’s marry him or lose everything, with or without the added fucking. And the fucking? Let’s just say I feel conflicted.
‘Wanting you is aside from everything else because I also need your help, but I’ve already explained that. You were in the right place at the right time or, perhaps, the wrong time. But whichever way you choose to view it, it became obvious we could help each other. Right wrongs and be all the better for it.’
‘I don’t want revenge.’
‘You will. The best kind of revenge is success. Your achievements will never be at the mercy of men like Luke and his stepfather again.’
‘Don’t try to pretend you’re some advanced altruistic being.’ He doesn’t flinch or try to defend himself. ‘My God,’ I moan, my head now in my hands. ‘I can’t believe I let you touch me like that!’
‘And I can’t believe I got out of the car, but I never do anything without an exit plan.’
