Chapter 21
CHASTITY
Over the last few weeks Flynn and I have seen quite a bit of each other, and I don’t just mean in the bedroom. For the want of a better word, we’re dating. It’s been.. . fun. Dinners and movies, brunch after a lazy morning in bed—even an afternoon rowing on the Serpentine. Our friends reactions have been positive, but mostly circumspect, which I get. No one, least of all me, wants to get their hopes up.
However, the one thing they’ve all agreed on is that I’m crazy. It seems they think conjuring up a birthday party to avoid a family dinner is a little much. What they don’t understand is that these evenings are painful enough without the attendance of my mother and father’s companions; bitterness and younger girlfriend number twelve respectively. Usually, Max acts as a buffer for all involved. So if he’s unavailable, so am I.
You only get one thirtieth birthday, after all.Unless you’re aunt Camilla.
Flynn and my friends have had a ball suggesting ideas for my party. Becausetellingmy mother I was having a party wasn’t enough. Now I’m actuallyhavinga party. Thanks, friends. So far I’ve the nixed the suggestion of an inflatable bouncing castle complete with a pub and a disco ball, (Flynn) a bright pink bucking bronco penis, (Paisley) and a Margarita van (Ella). It’s just a shame I don’t have the space for a bouncing castle or a huge bucking dick, and I’m sure there would be licensing issues with an ice-cream van that serves liquor on the street.
So now I’m not lying about having a party. Because I’m actuallyhavinga party.
Well, I am turning thirty.
It’s a little dramatic, and I mean no disrespect to anyone else, but it’s my birthday, so I can make people wear black and white if I want to. Okay, so that’s not quite how the song goes, but you get what I mean. I’m going with a stylish and tongue-in-cheek theme of black, maybe with a little white thrown in, while asking for charitable donations in lieu of gifts.
Flynn thinks the idea is “cool as” and promised he’d be a pall bearer for my youth, which, as far as I can tell, means he’s game to be underneath me at some point during the evening. Over the past few weeks, Flynn and I have gotten more comfortable around each other although he insists he’s always been comfortable around me. He tells me his animal magnetism was something I needed time to adjust to. That it was probably the thing putting me off. So nothing to do with the way he makes me feel like I want to wrap my hands around his throat. And not in a—fun?—erotic asphyxiation way.
The truth is, I can’t imagine him not being around. He exasperates me, while breathing life into the empty corners of my world—spaces I didn’t realise were lacking. There’s more to the man than meets the eye, and while I’m trying not to make plans to see us into retirement together, I’m enjoying my time with him.Enjoying him. And his filthy mind.
My mind is so caught up in the shower we took together last night. The water raining down against his body, and the way it flowed down between my fingertips, my hand splayed on the ridges of his stomach. The feeling of the coarseness under my palm as I’d slid my other hand up his thigh, my fingers drawn to the dip in his hip. The taste of him, of salt and man, as I’d tracked my lips against him and run my tongue along the head of his cock, holding the base firmly as I toyed with him. As good as he always makes me feel, I wanted to give that back, even as I’d teased and tortured, cupping him as I took his length almost to the back of my throat.
God, the sounds he’d made as I’d tasted and explored him with my mouth.
‘Babe... I can’t. You need—’ His words were broken and made little sense. He’d slid his hand behind my head, just to hold me there, his arm travelling with the movement and bobs of my head.Had I ever made any man this senseless? Been responsible for such breathless moans echoing through the small space?
‘I can’t.Fuck, yes!’ He’d thrown his head back, allowing water to cascade down his toned body. I slipped my hand between my legs, the realisation that I was responsible for this beautiful creature’s ecstasy an aphrodisiac like nothing I’ve ever felt. I was determined to come—as determined as I was to make him come.
‘Yes! Touch yourself.’ There, crouched on the shower floor, the co-ordination had taken some mastering, but his words had served as supreme encouragement, my fingers moving faster, causing me to moan around his length.
He seemed to like the moaning.The vibration. The way I looked up at him while full of him.God, I’m such a porn cliché.
Out in the street, despite the brisk weather, my cheeks begin to heat as I recall how his words turned guttural as his hand had held my head tightly in place.
‘Yeah, that’s it. Take it. Take it all.’ And I did.
His darkened eyes as he’d stared down at me, replete, made me happy—yes, I did this! I made this man look like he’d walk on hot coals to receive my attentions.
‘You amazingly dirty fucking girl.’
He’d turned the shower off, then reached down, pulling me to my feet. My body had started to cool in the absence of the steam, the gooseflesh only deepening as he’d kissed me, kissed his essence from my lips.
‘Get your arse in that bedroom.’ His long tongue had flicked out, tasting the coating on my fingertips. ‘I’m gonna make your cunt my home.’
Damn. My purse begins to buzz, so I pull out my phone.
‘Babe.’ Flynn’s voice travels down the line in an echo of last night. Yep, that’s still happening. I’m super-hot for the man. ‘Mini sausages.’
A bark of laughter breaks free. Flynn’s no mini, but maybe he means, ‘I’m not ordering mini sausage,’ I reply, deciding this is where the conversation is heading, my heels echoing against the pavement of my local shopping precinct.
‘If you loved me, you would.’
‘I-I-’ Don’t have an answer for that, and it’s not something I’m examining. Absolutely, we’re monogamous, but we’re also newly minted in relationship terms.
You could love him, my mind whispers.If you just trust yourself. But trust isn’t something I’m all that good with. So I stay in the now. Call it suspicion or experience. Call it what you like because whatever you call it, my wariness exists.
‘What kind of party doesn’t have snags? Mini snags for added sophistication!’
