Fast, punishing and deep, and I love it. His absolute control of me is like shedding skin. My thoughts were live wires, uncontrolled and dangerous, and what it takes to counter this is more than his reassurance or words. It takes these moments to ground me. To ground me to him.
Kai’s movements begin to falter as he curses, his hips pressing harder and faster now as he drives me into the abyss. I climax hard, riding out his shuddering thrusts and pushing back into him.
His hand retracts from my neck, his palm resting against the wood next to my head. With his lips pressed into my shoulder, his heart hammers against my back as mine does against the table, we each wait for those muscles to calm.
‘What will it take for you to see?’
In my peripheral vision Kai reaches for a lock of hair, bright against the table’s dark grain. He winds it around his finger, staring at it intently.
‘She’s—’
‘She’s nothing.’ His voice is harsh—there’s to be no argument on this point. Until I carry on.
‘She loves you.’
‘No, Kate, she doesn’t. Do we have to do this now?’
As his deep sigh presses me against the table, I don’t answer, thinking maybe he’s right. Maybe I am a masochist. His fingers loosen from my hair and are suddenly at my bottom lip, my mouth little more than a tight line just now.
‘There is no love. She’s just not used to being told no.’
‘Not surprised,’ I mumble. ‘Only have to look at her.’
‘That’s enough. You are so very beautiful. It just astounds me that you don’t seem to see.’
‘Kai, she’s like a supermodel,’ I say, trying to turn my head to look at him.
‘For each of her ilk, there are another ten just like her. She’s not like you, Kate. She has no heart. No soul.’
‘But—’
‘And to me, she was never more than a cunt. In both senses of the word.’
I inhale sharply, his body separating from mine. ‘Do you know how nasty that sounds?’
‘No worse than the things she said herself—and about me.’ His sigh is only just audible and I can almost sense him pushing his fingers through his hair. ‘This ends now, this self-flagellation of yours.
‘What? I’m just supposed to let you do it instead?’ I mumble. As I straighten, his arms band my shoulders again.Back where we started, although I’m now naked, but for heels.‘You’re a pain in my arse.’
‘Maybe,’ he answers, resting his chin against my shoulder, the smile in his voice very clear. ‘But only until you take me all the way in.’
