‘Of course I fucking know,’ he grates out, looking like he’s about to explode.
‘Then tell me.’
‘I don’t fucking know!’
‘Liar,’ I whisper in his ear, my tongue flicking out to caress the shell.
‘Stop it.’ A growl.
‘You can’t stop me. You can’t stop me from doing anything. You can’t—’
‘Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think I don’t feel impotent enough? He fucking attacked you, Kate, and I left you alone! All that’s happened... it’s my fault. If I’d been here—’
Sliding my legs wide, I slip over his lap. ‘If you’d been here, it would have happened some other way. You need to stop punishing yourself.’ My hands glide to his neck, my fingers grasping the ends of the ties. ‘I want you to punish me instead.’
He blinks heavily—once, twice—as the silk falls between us, his pupils reacting to the light.
‘Don’t, Kate. This isn’t your fault—’
‘It is. It’s my fault. There are more photos.’ He nods and sweet relief spreads through my insides. ‘I’m sorry I lied, but I didn’t want to disappoint you. I didn’t want you to—but I did lie. To you. Even though I didn’t mean to.’ Foot, meet idiot, rambling mouth. ‘And I want you to. Please, anything. ’
‘Don’t promise me things you can’t mean.’
My hands retract from his hair, slipping around to cup his face. ‘Why can’t I?’
‘Leave it, Kate. I’m too angry—’
‘You told me once that passion and anger are often two sides of the same coin. Kai, come on, make me atone.’
Proving my theory that I’ll never make a bondage expert, Kai pulls his wrists free from his shirt. In an instant, his mouth is hard against mine, his tongue thrusting and demanding a return. His hands knead and touch my back and arse as though to make me aware of his possession—his need. Then, suddenly, I’m in the air, his arms banding my butt and he lifts me as he stands. The hard press of his body against mine spikes desire deep in my veins, rushing through the limbs I try to wrap him in. I’d expected him to throw me to the bed, when instead, he moves us to the chair that I’ve both loved and then loathed.
As my feet touch the floor, Kai stops kissing me before turning me to face the mirror with both hands against my waist.
‘This is your last chance to say no.’ Our eyes connected through our reflections, he lifts the weight of my hair in his hands. My head falls to the side and he bends to kiss my neck, my eyes rolling closed. ‘Don’t make me do this,’ he whispers against the sensitive space. ‘Not today.’
His words and tongue echo in between my legs and I push back against the weight of his body, curling my fingers into the back of the chair, desperate to make this right, desperate for him.
‘Please,’ I whisper, not sure what I’m pleading for, not sure how he can be so hard yet so reluctant.
Kai flexes into me again and I whimper—one small sound lengthening into a libidinous moan as he pushes his knee between my legs.
‘You don’t want this. You don’t need to feel my anger.’ His words are low, throaty and heartfelt—almost a plea—even as he lifts my knee onto the seat of the chair. ‘How I feel—I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. Please tell me you don’t want that.’
‘I don’t want you to stop. I want you to be free.’
A pounding pulse hammers between my legs as Kai’s golden eyes stare back, his expression pained as he curves his body over mine. He rests his head against my shoulder, and with one heavily expelled breath, says something that resonates inside me almost viscerally.
‘Don’t let go.’
The same words he’d whispered our very first time in this room, both hands curled over mine against the back of the chair. Three small words caressing and commanding in their delivery, a promise, almost, of what’s to come.
Me! Me! Make it me!
