‘Serendipitous,’ Niamh agrees, laughingly.
‘That’s what Shane said about meeting me.’ Suddenly, I feel my shoulders deflate. When will the past stop sneaking up and kicking me?
‘That’s a big word for someone with only half a brain,’ Niamh mutters.
But my stomach still twists as I stare into my glass. ‘He was going to include it in his wedding speech. I wonder what the opposite of serendipitous is.’
‘Unlucky. And just the opposite of what you should consider yourself. Imagine if you’d married the twat.’
‘At leastthatwas something I didn’t have to see.’ I raise my gaze to hers, wrinkling my nose. ‘The loser had the decency to cover it—her, I mean.’
‘What the hell with?’
‘This tiny throw cushion,’ I reply, approximating the size of it with my hands. ‘He tried to cover his own junk with it first, then seemed to think it’d be better to cover her vag. Was that for her benefit or mine? And I couldn’t help but think about how I’d balanced my soup bowl on that cushion at lunch time.’
I shake my head and the images away as I realise Niamh is struggling not to laugh. For a minute, I can see the scene through her eyes. Shane’s stricken face as he scrambled to pull up his drooping jeans with one hand, the other ineffectually waving a furry throw pillow, not sure who or what to cover first. I almost laugh myself. Almost.
‘Imagine what you could’ve caught from that cushion.’ She shudders theatrically. ‘Still, could’ve been worse. He might’ve been in the middle of eating h—’
‘Nee-eve.’ Filling her name with reprimand, I screw my face up in distaste as I aim one of her own fluffy sofa offerings at her head. ‘You’re supposed to be comforting me in my hour of need, not giving me nightmarish flashbacks.’
‘I supplied wine!’ she says as it narrowly misses her. ‘Every cloud and all that.’
I expel one hard sound from my chest. I think it might’ve been a laugh.
‘Where’s the silver lining in this? I walked in on my fiancé screwing the stripper from his bucks’ night—a cliché in Perspex heels!’
‘Trust you to notice the shoes, Cinderella. So your Prince Charming turned out to be a toad. Better you find out he’s a philandering fuckwit now rather than later, yeah? A cheater never changes his spots, you know. You just have to hope that those spots turn into full-blown herpes a relationship or two down the road.’
I sigh loudly, the wind having blown out of my sails as quick as that. She’s right, maybe not the herpes hex, but the rest, yeah. Not that it makes me feel any less foolish or hurt.
‘Grab your silver linings where you can. Look at it this way, you have a do-over, a place to begin again. To be who you want to be, do what,or who, you want to do.’ Her sudden smile would put a cut watermelon to shame. ‘And his loss is absolutely my gain.’
A shiver ripples down my spine. Excitement or fear, I can’t say for sure. I still can’t quite believe I’m here.
‘And it’s like a pick-and-mix of blokes out there. The variety will blow your mind.’ Her eyes positively gleam with mischief, though I roll my own in response.
‘The difference between sour worms and jelly snakes? I’ve seen enough of dangly bits for the foreseeable, thanks. Besides, did you miss the bit where I said I was heartbroken?’
‘You’re not heartbroken,’ she scoffs, sliding me an eloquent look. ‘You’re hurt. And you know what they say, the best way to get over a bloke is to get under a different one.’
‘God .. . ’ I groan. ‘That’s so not happening.’
‘It’s always worked for me. A good revenge ride is exactly what you need.’ There’s no mistaking her actions or the way her accent twists ride intoroide.It sounds so much filthier. Filthy and unwarranted as far as I’m concerned.
‘And here I was thinking you’d at least give me a chance to settle in before trotting me out like a prize heifer.’
‘Heifer? I’ve seen more fat on the pencil me mammy’s butcher uses.’
I pick imaginary fluff from my new, size smaller skirt as though I’ve discovered something new. ‘Ah, look, I think I just found that silver thread. I lost, oh... maybe 85 kilos, if you include the dead weight fiancé.’
‘Get on with your sexy self! What we need now is a night out to celebrate.’
‘No, I don’t. I mean I’m still—’
‘Mourning what could’ve been? Grand, we’ll make it a wake—cremate the fucker in flaming Sambuca shots!’
My palm meets my head with a groan. I’d somehow forgotten what a pain in the butt she can be. Like sciatica, a persistent, nagging pain that you can’t do much about. But she’s also the best type of friend. In fact, as I’d muttered down the phone line that Shane and I were over and that I’d booked a ticket to visit, she’d told me I could stay with her as long as I liked. She’d even lined me up with some interviews once I’d said I was thinking about staying, totally facilitating my getaway.
Niamh is a shining example of how to live life as you want and not how others think you should. I’d gotten to know her a few years before when we’d worked at the same school in Brisbane.The school I’d taught at since leaving university. The same school I’d attended as a kid.Meanwhile, Niamh has taught in half a dozen ccountries.
Herno fucksattitude drew me to her and now thanks to her, I have a new job, which comes with an apartment, in a school where all my fellow teachers are female. Short of joining a convent, I can’t imagine a better place to start again.
I’ll be teaching grade three at the Al Mishael School for Girls.An exclusive English curriculum school for families preferring a more culturally acceptable environment for their daughters. Which is just a long winded way of saying it’s an all-girls school. I’m familiar, having attended and taught in one myself. Catholic in my case. But it can’t be that different, surely? A school is a school, whether in Brisbane, Delhi or Dubai.
Not that I can quite believe I’m here—in Dubai, I mean. It kind of blows my mind. Billion dollar buildings and roads where every other car seems to be a Lamborghini. Streets filled with exotic sights and sounds.
Fuck a duck, I’m living in Dubai!
With a slow smile, I place my glass down. All I need to do now is convince Niamh I need a new man like I need a genital piercing.
