I raise my hand to secure it as he instructs me to bind it tight.
‘The ring. I ought to have told you to wear it the other way around.’
‘What?’ Discomforted in the dark, my spine stiffens.
‘The ring,’ he prompts. ‘Slip it off, and turn it so the pearls are on the inside, nearest your palm.’
I try to do so, tension causing my fingers to stiffen and swell.
‘I—I can’t.’ This comes out in a strangled wail.
‘Shh, sweetheart. Trust me.’ His voice is soft, his words sincere. ‘It’s going to be okay.’ His promise lingers in the cool air, the tension in my body relaxing a little. ‘Relax, lie back. Now, take your finger and wet it. That’s right, slide it inside. Take it all the way in.’
I feel the corners on my mouth curl, trying to fight my smile. Of course, I can’t see his expression, though his tone is innuendo filled.
‘That’s it. God, I wish I was there with you.’
‘Me, too,’ I whisper, knowing it wouldn’t be my finger I’d have in my mouth. The ring is loose enough now for me to slide and turn. ‘It’s like a reverse knuckle duster,’ I whisper.
‘It should certainly pack a punch. Kitten, take your fingertips and slide them along your collarbone, down your body, down between your legs.’
‘Okay,’ I answer on a tremulous breath. He’s all serious now.
‘You don’t have to answer. Not if you don’t want to. Just relax... andfeel. That’s it,’ he adds as I sweep further still along my thighs. ‘Keep touching. Light fingers, fingers that could almost be mine.’ I imagine his hands, those elegant fingers finding the soft flesh of my inner thigh. Slipping inside. ‘You look so beautiful, spread for me.’
Hearing his soft spoken words, his praise and encouragement is incredible, but at the same time, a little embarrassing. I don’t want to be reminded I have my legs spread, that I’m exposed to him, but I also can’t help the small, breathy sounds escaping from my mouth.’
‘That’s it, Kate. Relax. There’s just you and me. We have no secrets, nothing we need to hide.’
Only I do, don’t I? I have secrets I’m keeping from him. My hands stop abruptly, fingers twisting in the sheets at my sides. I open my mouth, but can’t form the words, can’t bring myself to tell him of my encounters with Sofia and Essam.Would there be a point?There’s nothing he could do from wherever the hell he is. My stomach twists as I consider the other things I haven’t told him. Nothing massive; everyone has secrets, don’t they? Especially things involving an ex.
Guilt and discomfort washes through me, making me feel a little ill.
Kai’s name is balanced on the edge of my tongue as I begin to lift the silk from my eyes.
‘Stop.’ A definitive word—no, a command. ‘Those weren’t our terms.’
‘But, I—’
‘Lie back on the bed, or I promise there will be consequences.’
‘Don’t be an arsehole,’ I complain, dragging the scarf away completely, though leaving it on my head.
‘Arsehole?’ he growls. ‘I’m half way around the world, so busy I’ve barely time to inhale, and I’m an arsehole for trying to bring a bit of pleasure into both of our lives?’ From growly and commanding to just plain pissed off, it seems Kai’s mood has altered, too.
‘I—’
‘Kate, look at yourself. Look at me. Are you naked and running hands all over yourself because you want to appease me?’
‘No, not only, but—’ Again, that’s as far as I get.
‘Look at me—go on, take a good look.’ I pick up my iPad and peer into a poor facsimile of him. For the first time I notice how washed out his complexion is, see the dark marks under his eyes. He looks terrible.
‘Are you ill?’ What if he is and he just hasn’t told me?
‘This is what being away from you is doing to me. I want you by my side, I’ve missed you enough already. Also, I want to keep you safe, especially after everything that’s happened, and I’m fucking terrified you’ll leave again.’ One tear slides down my cheek. How could I have not known he was feeling like this?
‘Add to that,’ he says, his tone now grave. ‘In my adult life, I have never, ever, gone this long without sex.’
