‘Haven’t you been listening?’ Clearly not, as her gaze returns to the door. ‘Pay attention. I’m bored out of my box. I haven’t got a job and I miss my man!’ I take a sip from my watery coffee, hiding my smile. ‘It wouldn’t be so bad if Kai was around.’ It’d be bloody amazing, if those few days we had in Australia were anything to go by, but I don’t want to gloat. I also don’t want to burn my tongue...ouch.‘But at the minute, I’ve got nothin’ going on. Nothing to do all day when everyone else has work. I was so bored the other day, I even rang Sadia just for a chat.’
‘Wasn’t that your classroom assistant? I thought her English was shite?’
‘Don’t saywas.I’ll be going back.’ Hopefully the person they’ve employed is terrible, and they’ll be desperate for my return. ‘And yes, her English leaves a lot to—Okay...’ I respond to her look. ‘Her English is crap. It was hard going, I tell you. I just wanted to ask how she was getting along and I happened to say I was bored shitless. She offered to send me a recipe for a homemade laxative.’ Niamh laughs loudly. ‘Can I come and help out in your class? Please? I’ll be heaps helpful, and an extra pair of hands is always useful, right?’ It’s a risk; two teachers in one classroom isn’t always a recipe for harmony, but I’m desperate. ‘I’ll do as I’m told. Promise.’
Niamh’s laughter stops, her expression firm and decisive. ‘Ah, y’need this visa issue sorted. Who knows what issues even working voluntarily might cause.’
‘I know,’ I say with a dramatic sigh. It was a long shot. ‘God, I’m so—’
‘Yeah, you might’ve said once or twice. I know, let’s plan a night on the lash!’ she adds.
‘Lash?’
‘A night out. A drink or thirteen.’
‘That’d make me comatose. Dunno about lashed, but I’d needlashingto a post to keep me upright drinking that much.’
It’s at this point there’s a noise from the bedroom that sounds like a muffled squeal. Maybe crossed with a cough. And added to the strange soundtrack is something suspiciously like a bit of headboard banging.
‘Feck!’ she exclaims, rushing past me. ‘You stay there!’ she yells as I make to follow.
‘All right,’ I grumble. ‘No need to get the shits with me.’
The door bangs closed behind her and muffled voices ensue. The higher of the two sounds placating, the other, well, pretty pissed off, as I sit, like any self-respecting woman, straining to hear as I sip on my coffee, which is cooling nicely.
‘Ah, go wank up a tree!’
Pretty sure she’s not on the phone.
‘Like you’d let me,’ comes a response in a much lower register. And in an accent. Almost drawled. So defo not the phone, then. The lying little minx.
I brush the crumbs from my lap as Niamh closes the bedroom door behind her, and, avoiding my, shall we say, smirking countenance, walks into the living room. Seating herself carefully in the chair opposite, she begins to unfold something silky, small and red, before coming to with a jolt. Screwing the material up in a ball, she shoves it between her bum and the chair.
‘I suppose you want to know what that was all about.’
‘Who, me? Your business, by the sounds of things. Of course I don’t want to pry.’ Hear that? That’s Captain Subtext screamingDish that dirt, mate! I’ll loan you a shovel!
‘Right,’ she answers sardonically. ‘Then maybe you want to rub the bit of drool off your chin.’
Stupidly, my hand goes there, halting half-way.
‘I’m about to make shit real awkward, and not ‘cos I want to, mind.’ She inhales deeply. For drama, obviously.
‘Just spit it out!’
‘I’m gettin’ to it, if you’d just shut your hole for a minute.’
‘All right, keep your hair on!’
Inhaling, she expels a deep breath along with a rush of words. ‘I’m a dominant woman, Kate.’
I snort and then take a mouthful of my coffee. Then I roll my eyes.
‘You knew already?’
‘That’s not something you can hide easily.’
‘Yeah,’ she says, a slow smile creeping across her face. ‘Cool. Christ, I was brickin’ it with the thoughts of telling you. Manic when you turned up, especially as I’d left him tied to the bed—’
