‘Oh.’ Our army of objectors. Perhaps it’s a good job we can’t get married in church. I can almost imagine the minister asking if anyone knows of any just cause blah, blah, blah, and a whole host of people standing up, shouting, causing aggro.Faris, Essam, Sofia. Random girls. I’m sure the list goes on.
My shoulders sag. I understand, of course I do. But I don’t have to like it. Sounds like a marriage of inconvenience, almost. Inconvenient in as much as we have to do it now, in the next few days. I understood I wasn’t really going to be able to have a church wedding, butnow it seems even a civil ceremony is beyond our reach... I raise my gaze once more. ‘But how are you going to—’
‘We, sweetheart, how arewegoing to. Manage to get married, that is.’
‘Well, yes, but—’
‘ANikahceremony, officiated at the local mosque. Much quicker to arrange but just as binding,’ he adds quickly. ‘And probably preferable, in light of things.’
‘Preferable to who? And what things?’ My voice raises in octaves as I begin to panic, great wings of anxiety beating against my ribs. Is this what it’s going to be like—our lives together—things I can’t comprehend, things I don’t understand? ‘You said we’d have a white wedding, you said to my mum.’Christ on a bike, she’ll be crushed.‘What will I say to her, how can I explain—’
Taking my flailing hands once more in his, his face is grave. ‘I can’t give you a church wedding, but hear me out, please. This part of the wedding is paperwork, mainly, but solemn and sacred. And extremely official. We’ll return to Dubai married, where we’ll then have a wedding the envy of everyone.’
‘I don’t want a big wedding, I just want one that means something.’
‘I’d pledge you my troth anyway you’d want, sweetheart, because I want you above everything. And I want to make you happy.I also want to protect you. Please consider this. Once we return to Dubai, we’ll send for your parents, family—your neighbour’s cat! We’ll have a huge affair, blessed by a priest—your priest, if we can persuade him to come. Just, please, let’s get married before we leave. Darling, marry me. Here. Now.’
‘In this car?’ I raise my eyes to the roof as I scrunch up my nose.
‘I’d marry you anywhere,’ Kia replies on a half-held laugh. ‘I think I’ve made that perfectly clear.’
Back at the house, and with Kai gone, I spend the rest of afternoon swimming, reading the local free newspaper—back to front—and catching up on TV shows I thought I might miss after moving away.And now appears not.I’m bored to tears, in other words. Kai said he had a couple of appointments, and I know one of them is to see stepdaddy dearest. Geoff could talk a glass eye to sleep, especially once he’s on his soap-box, so I won’t expect him back anytime soon. I also suppose it could’ve been worse, he could’ve asked me to go with him, but apparently that’snot the done thing.Still, I wish I’d driven my little car back from my mum’s. At least I’d be able to go out, instead of just hanging around.
‘I’m off.’ Jazz’s disembodied head pops around the corner, frowning down at me as I lounge on the couch, arms crossed. ‘You want me to make you a sanger before I shoot off?’ I’d already said we didn’t need dinner as I wasn’t sure when Kai might be back. A sandwich would be just the thing right about now.
‘No, ta. I’ll make something myself if I get the munchies.’ Truth is, I’d feel uncomfortable asking her to make me food. I’ve got arms and legs. I just need to get off my bum and help myself.
‘You’re sure?’
‘Yeah.’ God, that words just drips with despondency. ‘I think I might go out myself.’ As I say the words, I realise what I’m actually going to do is stay in, veg out, and call for a pizza. Once she’s gone.
‘You wanna lift somewhere? I’m heading to Robina.’
‘Na, I’m right, thanks.’
‘Suit yer self.’ And then she’s gone.
Through the wall of glass, I watch the sun set through a haze of clouds. The effect is very dramatic, dark clouds still lingering from the earlier rain now a wash of indigo, blue, grey, apricot, and bronze staining their edges, touched now and then by the setting sun.
My head is filled with thoughts of marriage. The how and the where of Kai’s plans. I try being philosophical; yes, it’s not at allhowI want to get married, but surely the ceremony is just a platform, a springboard on which to launch ourselves into the state.Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. I’d planned to have this sonnet read in church, for my other wedding, that is. For the first time, I really think I understand. Love withstands, overcomes difficulties. To a change in circumstances, love bends. This isn’t the way I want to get married, but married to Kai, I do want to be. So I’ll bend.I suspect I always will for him. But for now, I’m going to be all Zen, starting by being one with the sofa, while I dial my dinner.
The evening passes uneventfully, if alone. Texts are received and sent.
Kai’s:I’m with Geoff now.
Mine:My commiserations to you.
And things are consumed
Me: pizza.
Mosquito’s: my blood.
My own fault for leaving the bi-folds open beyond dusk.
I’ve read, I’ve watched telly, I’ve chilled out, and now I’m so sick of my own company, I’m in bed, though I doubt I’ll sleep until Kai returns.
‘Kitten, pick a side.’
