‘What? Who did you see? Came where?’
‘Down the back of her throat, by the sounds of things.’
‘I swear, Kate, if you don’t stop talking in riddles—speak fucking English! Please.’
I eye him for a moment, not sure whether to hurl words of fists. Eventually, words win out, the volley hitting the air in a whoosh.
‘I turned up at the hotel early. Caught the whole fucking show.’
I turn my head back to the ocean as my voice begins to crack under the effort.
‘But... I wasn’t at the hotel.’
‘Please don’t.’ Wrapping my arms around my knees, I dig my toes into the sand and will myself not to cry.
‘I wasn’t there,’ he replies, voice rising suddenly. ‘But I’m beginning to guess who fucking well was!’ Startled, my head shoots up as a look I’ve never seen before dawns darkly cross his face. ‘Tell me what you saw.’
‘Enough.’ Enough to break my heart.
‘Whatever it was—whoever it was—it wasn’t me.’
‘Sofia,’ I yell. ‘I saw you fucking Sofia, or rather I saw you shove your dick in her mouth.’
He growls—it sounds painful, plaintive—a sound I’ve never heard before. ‘You didn’t see me, you probably saw Essam! He said he wanted to fuck her, you heard him! It wasn’t me, I’m not guilty of ... whatever they were doing.
‘I didn’t get back to Dubai until the early hours and when you weren’t there, I thought you’d gone home. It was late, so I didn’t call. Then next morningyourphone wasn’t on!’ His voice rises, desperation filling the tone. ‘Can you imagine how it felt to learn you’d left? Gone? You said you loved me. If that means anything to you at all, I expect, no, I demand the benefit of the doubt. I swear on my mother’s life—’
‘It had to be you,’ I whisper, beginning to shake.
‘It wasn’t,’ he pleads, reaching out. ‘Can’t you see? Think, Kate, don’t Essam and I look at least a little alike? Couldn’t it have been him?’
‘Don’t.’ I hold my hand out in warning, desperate to stay strong, despite the ring of truth in his words. I try hard to ignore the resemblance between the pair—their height, their gait—but facially they aren’t remotely the same.But I didn’t see his face...
‘Don’t tell me I can’t touch you.’ Angry and defiant, he rests his hand on my thigh, his touch searing my skin. ‘I swear to you.’ His words, soft and deep, pull at familiar strings. I try to swallow the feelings, to hang onto the hurt. ‘I need you, Kate. I know I’ve fucked up, but not how you think. You have to believe me. You have to want me still.’
I abhor myself for feeling like this, for listening to him. Giving him the chance. Feeding the fire inside, I shake off his hand.
‘I should have realized. It all makes sense now, no wonder you left. I love you, would never hurt you. Please don’t doubt it. I don’t doubt you. Talk to me, please.’
My whole body aches from the force of keeping it together, when all I want to do is unravel. Shatter. Break apart. ‘You asked me to trust you,’ I yell at him. ‘Said you wouldn’t hurt me. Look at me, Kai. Am I vulnerable enough for you now?’
‘I don’t want that kind of vulnerable,’ he murmurs, holding his hand to my face. ‘I thought I could protect you. I am so sorry, Kate. You’re in my heart and in my head. The way I feel about you—I can’t be without you. I won’t. Look at me.I’mvulnerable,I’mraw,’ he cries, his tone rising once more. ‘I came here knowing nothing of this. Ask Rashid. I’ll show you proof of my flight, whatever you want!’
‘Rashid.’ I snort. Like I’d get two words against Kai out of him.
‘Think. Did you actually see me with her? Did my father have anything to offer but words and perhaps some vague hope on his part? I came to tell you I’m sorry for everything. I thought you’d left because of the flat, for what I said about you and Matt. I came to say that I love you... that I can’t be without you. That I’d live any fucking place you want, so long as you’d be mine. As long as you’ll marry me.’
Breath leaves my chest in a whoosh. ‘Are you nuts?’ I quickly scramble up from the sand. ‘You’re joking, right? You hate the idea of marriage! You come here spouting crap about your dad engineering this... this... huge deception, this massive clusterfuck, just for dating you? Then you expect me to believe that wasn’t you in the hotel room? That it wasn’t your dick in her mouth!’
My voice rises, hands in the air like I’d wring his neck if I could only trust myself to be near. In my peripheral vision, I can see dog-walkers staring, joggers slowing their pace just to see what’s the go.
Stick around folks, any more lies and I might end him right now.
‘And now?’ I laugh, though not really. It resembles mirth. Manic mirth. The kind that lands you in a padded cell. ‘The man who thinks marriage outdated, is here with a proposal, or is it a merger, Kai? It’s kind of an extreme way for you to just get your hands on my assets again.’
‘Fuck that, fuck him!’ He moves onto his knees in front of me.Our audience must be loving this. ‘I won’t let any of this come between us. And you’re right. I’ve never considered marriage, but I’ve spent the last sixteen hours trying to put myself in your shoes. And you were right before, about hiding. That’s the beauty of this. I shouldn’t have asked you to hide or skulk around, I shouldn’t have offered you an apartment. A part of my time. Marry me, Kate. Let me put this right.’
I’m stunned, my mouth unattractively gaping as I begin to move away. ‘You’ve seriously lost the plot.’ I raise my hands in frustration. ‘You’renuts!’
