He. Loves. Me.
His tone softens as he reaches out to me, hand resting on my thigh. ‘I’ll get my real estate agent onto looking for somewhere suitable. We’ll go car shopping at the weekend.’
‘What? Hang on a minute,’ I splutter, my wits returning from love central. ‘I didn’t say any of that was okay and I’ve already got a car, thanks to you.’
‘But I’d like to buy you something special, something from me. I’ll get him to line up some suitable properties. We’ll look together.’ Leaning forward, he plants a kiss against my shoulder. ‘Somewhere for us. Where we’re both comfortable being.’
‘You aren’t comfortable at my place?’
‘I’d prefer you not to be living next door to a man with designs on fucking you. Besides, I’ve had larger closet space than your apartment.’
‘It’sbijouand I like it.’ I pull myself to sit, moving the sheet to cover my chest. ‘I’m not living in some apartment like your floozy and you aren’t buying me a car!’The first one was awkward enough.My voice rises in increments, a mixture of panic and distaste. Look at what happened to Essam’s girlfriend when their relationship was done. Does he expect me to willingly wander down that road? No way.
Jumping to his feet, his eyes turn almost savage. ‘Are you even listening? What happened to trusting?’
‘I’m listening and what I heard was you want to hide me away from your dad. That you want to remove the temptation of Matt. What happened toyourtrust? I won’t be hidden like some dirty secret. I won’t be managed or handled and I won’t be fucking Matt!’ I tighten my grip on the sheet, modesty suddenly very important in the face of Kai’s naked rage.
‘You’re missing the point. If you want to keep your jobthenwe’ll be hiding, skulking around behind my father’s back!’
I lower my volume but not my tone. ‘I’m not leaving my job, or my home. I love you and I want to be with you, but I won’t give up what I have.’
He raises his hands in frustration, tugging them through his hair before turning and leaving the room.
How the hell did we get here from pearls?
The return car journey is quiet, filled with introspection and an invasive silence. Unlike before, there’s no relaxation in the motion of the car and no conversational ebb and flow. More worryingly, there’s no banter or innuendo. There’s only quiet, interspersed with the most perfunctory of enquiries.Are you cold, comfortable? Should I change the air? Do you want to choose some music to put on?
The atmosphere is heavy with the unspoken and I’m further suffocated by my thoughts. I feel like I’ve been swept off my feet, dragged to the delirious depths, and my lungs are tight and burning now that I’ve come up for air. He wants me. To keep me. Hurt me. How can I want all of that, too? How can I even begin to understand his life, his expectations? Does he really want to lock me away?
A cold sweat beads against my skin, fear clawing at my skin, yet Kai is as cool and as unyielding as an ocean, the silence between us growing deafening.
Eventually, the car pulls to a stop outside of my apartment building, Kai grasping my hands in his larger one, his words a weighty plea. ‘We will make this work. Somehow.’
‘Aren’t you coming in?’ I ask as we reach the front door.
‘I have some work to do before my flight in the morning.’
‘You’re travelling again?
‘Work,’ he answers with a shrug. ‘I’ll have my phone. Call me. Please.’ His eyes fall to our hands. My hands in his, fingers entwined. I take a deep breath.
‘You going anywhere nice?’
‘There’s nowhere I’d rather be than here with you, but as it is, no. Riyadh again.’
‘Oh.’ I don’t want to go inside. I don’t want to leave things as they stand. ‘Listen, I understand you’re worried about your dad, but I don’t see how—’
My words are halted as he places his lips lightly against mine, lingering in a soft kiss before he speaks.
‘I’ve had a lifetime trying to understand him without much success. You don’t see the risks, but I swear to you, Kate, I won’t let him break what we have. When I get back, we’ll talk again. There are other things you should know, things I can’t tell you today, but I promise I’ll explain everything when I return, okay? Until then, no rash decisions. Please.’
‘When are you back?’
‘Thursday. Can I see you then?’
‘That’s the school open evening. I won’t be done until probably gone nine.’
‘Can I come over, after? Or I’ll send the car for you to come to me? Say yes, Kate. I need you.’
