‘Yes, anyway,’ I respond, eyes like saucers in my head. ‘I think it’s probably, officially, like that for most faiths and cultures. The list of do’s and don’ts, I mean. We could argue that Christians have centuries of repression behind them, too. Sex for procreation only, and all that guff? Come to think of it, doesn’t Leviticus say something similar about women and periods, or was it St. Jerome?’
‘Fucked if I know,’ she answers, placing her glass down. ‘Messy sex is sometimes great, and sometimes a pain in the arse. Literally.’ Leaning back in the chair, she stretches out her arms with a yawn. ‘You already know my views on any sort of organized religion, and I haven’t gone blind from interfering with myself yet.’
I wish my face wasn’t quite so transparent as she carries on.
‘But I think you’re right, essentially. So long as you’re not hurting anyone—or any small animals or anything—whatever you get up to, or whatever gets up you, is nobody’s business but your own. Yours and the people you’re having sex with.’ People, not person. Interesting... ‘And as we’re on the subject, while the only religious experience I’m interested in is getting all heels to Jesus with Rob, I’ve spent a fair bit of time on my kneesat massbut I mustn’t have been listening as well as you.’
TMI, BT dubs, for sure. Diversion time. I gesture to her almost empty glass. ‘Another?’
I’ll stop the conversation here, I think. I may know a bit more about scripture than her, but I’m guessing she knows an awful lot more about sex than she’s going to say. I decide to leave it at just that—a guess—because this conversation’s going no place I want it to.
Maybe I can order books? Bondage for Beginners? BDSM for Dummies? I’ve looked on the net for advice, blogs and stuff, but those kinds of web pages all seem to be blocked, replaced by an official note from some government ministry or other advising something likeif you feel you’ve been misaligned, contact us.
I can see the headlines: Australian woman kicked out of UAE for viewing porn.
Think I’ll give that a miss.
Oh well, I’ll just have to come up with a plan B, somehow.
